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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28478724">So Tell Me Do You Wanna Go?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwouldlike4piecechickentenderspls/pseuds/iwouldlike4piecechickentenderspls'>iwouldlike4piecechickentenderspls</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018), The Greatest Showman (2017)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Falling In Love, Fluff, Forehead Kisses, Lesbian Adora (She-Ra), Lesbian Catra (She-Ra), Mild Language, POV Adora (She-Ra), POV Catra (She-Ra), Romance, Tags Are Fun, Useless Lesbians, Vulnerability, We Just Love Each Other</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 15:08:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>24,267</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28478724</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwouldlike4piecechickentenderspls/pseuds/iwouldlike4piecechickentenderspls</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Catra is a trapeze artist struggling to pay rent and is determined to focus on work; Adora is the daughter of an incredibly wealthy family who expects her to give her life away...they weren't supposed to meet or build a connection, but will they?</p>
<p>(Basically, a Greatest Showman AU fic where I put Catra in the place of Anne Wheeler and Adora in the place of Phillip Carlyle)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Adora &amp; Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>134</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Sooo this whole fic was inspired and based on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CJZU-YalvSb/">this</a> great art by @_sampeach on instagram. No one really asked for this but the story came to me so quickly I had to start typing it out. I do wanna say that this is in no way historically accurate because I based it off the greatest showman which wasn't really historically accurate to begin with so combined with my ideas it turned into this. For the sake of this AU all characters are human and I have small cameos for the spop characters. Also, this is my first ever fic so pls be nice, constructive criticism is welcome :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Catra POV</p><p>It’s late, and I can’t manage to get any sleep, I've been lying in the bed of my small New York City apartment that I share with my brother for about 2 hours just constantly thinking of how we’re going to pay our rent this month, wondering how on earth we’ll be able to get the money, I mean we've found a few trapeze or performing gigs here and there but it's definitely not enough. I finally get so sick of my thoughts that I just grab my coat and head out for a walk which at this hour is probably not the smartest thing in the world especially since the people are incredibly on edge, calling the cops at the drop of a hat on any person of color they see, but if I had to stay in that bed for 5 more minutes I don’t think I’d make it.</p><p>The minute I finally get out of my cramped apartment I take a huge breath of fresh cold air, the weather in January is always this cold and right now it's exactly what I need to clear my thoughts. I can feel the nice cold air blowing through my undone curls and just stand there at the entryway to our apartment… breathing. After a couple of minutes I decide that I can just walk to the nearest streetlight and back, so I start heading in that direction until I see a bunch of scattered papers on the ground all saying the same thing “WANTED! SENSATIONAL PERFORMERS AND CURIOSITIES… DARING ACTS WONDERS OF THE WORLD”, finally signed with “BARNUM’S AMERICAN CIRCUS'', the address is at the bottom of the paper and isn't that far from here… I pause, this could be the answer to all of our problems.</p><hr/><p>“Catra, wake up! Catraaaa.”</p><p>I open my eyes to find my brother nudging my shoulder over and over trying to get me to wake up, I mean he should know by now that if I wanted to wake up I would have woken up!</p><p>“I’m awake! I’m awake, now stop nudging me already your gonna give me a fucking headache.”</p><p>He looks at me with one of his dumb smiles, “well about time, I thought I was gonna have to pour a bucket of water on you again.”</p><p>I give him my signature death glare, “you do that again and I will kill you Winston Donald Wheeler”, he hates when I use his full name, he only goes by Winston or WD to most people but I just like annoying him. He gives a loud dramatic sigh and goes into the kitchen saying, “I saw the flier you put on the counter we should definitely audition, seems like a good idea.”</p><p>I get up from my bed and join him in the kitchen going straight to the stove to brew my coffee. “Yeah it is, hopefully, it’ll get rid of our money troubles too.”</p><p>He looks at me with another one of his dumb sympathetic smiles, “Don’t worry we’ll figure it out, for now, all we got to do is go to the audition and we’ll work our way from there, okay?”</p><p>I sigh, my older brother has always been this way, always looking forward no matter the circumstance even when our parents died and we had to figure things out for ourselves, his dumb, annoying, optimistic self. And I would never say this out loud or dear god to his face but I don’t know what I would do without him, “okay.”</p><hr/><p>The next day we go straight to audition for Barnum’s Circus even though we hear a bit of controversy surrounding the whole thing in our neighborhood, I mean how bad could it be work is work, and I’m pretty sure we’ve handled worse. We get there and the first thing that catches my eye is a short purple-haired woman giving orders to everyone around her, I can’t really tell what her job is but she seems to be enjoying it.</p><p>She looks straight at one of the people moving the large boxes and says, “make sure to put all the boxes exactly where Mr. Barnum says, alright, I don’t want another mishap like with the penguins!”</p><p>
  <em>Penguins? What kind of place is this, maybe I did underestimate it after all. </em>
</p><p>Of course, this is when my social butterfly of a brother goes offering to help and ends up setting up the trampoline with them, I pinch the bridge of my nose, this is going to be a long day. After standing for what feels like forever Winston comes back and tells me that the purple-haired woman’s name is Glimmer and that she is one of the instructors and Barnum's daughter as well as her boyfriend Bow who seems to be preoccupied at the moment with the lions. <em>LIONS?! Great just great, one more thing to add to the list of the things I was already worried about.</em></p><p>Right after this very informative conversation we get led to the main stage area with the bleachers where we are told to sit patiently for auditions to begin, a bunch of acts go ahead of us including a muscular woman with short hair who can sing quite well, another woman who does some acrobatics with pink ribbons and lots of flowers and a woman who does water tricks with dolphins saying stuff about being sea princess or something, whatever that means, then it’s our turn. I’m normally not nervous when it comes to our trapeze act I mean work is work and we need to pay the bills somehow also a lot of the time I do enjoy myself up there, but a part of me knows that this time more is at stake, so I take a deep breath, chalk up my hands and start climbing the ladder.</p><p>Oddly until this moment, 20 ish feet above the ground, I hadn’t really paid attention to Micah Barnum whos been sitting on the bleachers writing things in his notebook apparently this entire time, he seems like a nice man not that I have much to go off of, either way, he looks at me directly in the eyes and nods I take this as my cue to go.</p><p>The minute I jump off the platform I know that I can do this, the feeling of freedom takes over me and I am able to let go of any stress that I had a minute ago in an instant, me and my brother do our usual tricks swinging back and forth and him flipping me in the air and catching me again, and when we’re done I can see Micah Barnum standing up and clapping for our act, hopefully, that means he’ll hire us. After successfully getting down and cleaning up we have a short conversation with both Barnum and Glimmer as we decide how we are going to get paid and what they have in store for us.</p><hr/><p>Finally, when we get home I flop on the couch from exhaustion and can tell that Winston is incredibly excited for our new gig because he couldn’t shut up about it on the way home and he’s still going,</p><p>“And Catra did you see the people they were all so nice, no one was judgmental or anything! That one girl with the acrobatic act ummm… Perfuma, yeah Perfuma she gave me a flower! And the lions, did you see-”</p><p>I cut him off at that point, “Yeah yeah very excited, I’m glad you like the place and everyone but please don’t get too attached you know how these jobs are, we don’t need to form relationships with the people.”</p><p>He looked at me a bit disappointed but somehow managed to smile again, “No I know it’s just nice, and tomorrow we even get to meet the junior partner or at least the partner they’re trying to get, Glimmer said Mr. Barnum went to meet with her after auditions, some rich girl, Dora something, things are looking up!”</p><p>I ignored the part about the partner no need to learn about someone I don’t need to get involved with and said, “Pfftt alright, alright but you can only be excited for 5 more minutes, too much of it and you’ll brain might explode or something.”</p><p>He proceeded to roll his eyes at me and laugh, secretly I’m a bit excited too.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Meet Adora Carlye, take a peek into what her life is like. Plus: Adora Carlyle meets Catra Wheeler, and some would say things were left up in the air.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm sorry for the pun in the summary but I had to lmao (¬‿¬),  <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CJZU-YalvSb/">here's the art</a> as a reminder as to what the trapeze scene looks like, only difference is Catra doesn't have cat ears or tail.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Adora POV</p><p>I wake up to a loud bang outside my room and run to the door to make sure everything is okay, normally at this time the maid, Lucinda, who my father insists clean first thing in the morning in order “not to disturb him” is in the kitchen so I am incredibly confused by the sound. When I open the door I find Lucinda on the floor with some kind of big vase decorated with a bunch of naked babies on it clutched to her chest in an odd position with an even odder expression on her face, I hold back a giggle and take the vase from her saying, “Lucy what the hell is going on, are you okay?”</p><p>She looks at me with pink cheeks, obviously embarrassed, and says, “Yes yes don’t worry about it Ms. Adora I’m fine.”</p><p>“You know you can call me Adora right, no need for formalities.” I’ve actually been telling her this for the past 5 years she’s been working for us but I don’t think she’s ever gonna change, at least she stopped calling me Ms. Carlyle like she used to when she first started working here; nonetheless she proves this by giving her usual response of smiling warmly at me, and asking me if I need anything, if anything I should be asking her what she needs, lord knows what my parents put her through. Regardless I give her my usual answer of smiling back and shaking my head and she goes about her way, so I go back into my room and get dressed for the day with my usual white button-down and black pants which I know my mother would roll her eyes at if she saw and insist that I wear a dress of some kind, so my goal is to not let her see; a short term solution sure but a solution nonetheless. Today’s the day I have to meet with that circus owner Micah Barnum and I want to be able to have the meeting in something I’m comfortable in, not that I need to justify my decisions or anything. </p><p>I go downstairs, grab a piece of bread for breakfast, and head out to meet him at the bar.</p>
<hr/><p>When I get to the bar I see him right away, he’s sitting with a drink in hand leaning against the bar in a suit, when he looks at me I give him a small smile and approach the bar. He seems incredibly enthusiastic because the second I sit down he asks to buy me a drink, which I happily agree to, and wait for him to start.</p><p>“Ms. Carlyle-”</p><p>“Adora please.”</p><p>“Adora, you know that I have a proposition for you.”</p><p>“I do.”</p><p>“So my circus has been getting quite the attention lately so I’ve been thinking to officially expand it and to do that, I need a junior partner if you will, and that’s where you come in.”</p><p>I can immediately tell where this conversation is going and even though I want to end it right here knowing that my parents would never approve, especially with the controversy around his circus I feel inclined to continue listening because of how passionate he seems about the topic but also because of how he isn’t talking down to me like many businessmen have done in the past.</p><p>He pauses assessing my face before he says, “I want you to join the circus.”</p><p>Damn well, this took an unexpected turn, I was really expecting him to go the business root of things, but he seems to have other plans.</p><p>I can’t contain my shock and blurt out, “You want me to do what?!”</p><p>In the calmest tone possible as if saying the most normal thing in the world he replies, “Join the circus, it's a thrilling adventure and you can teach me how to appeal to the highbrows, I’ll even offer you 5% of the income.”</p><p>“Mr. Barnum, with all, do respect I can’t just run away and join the circus because it’s a little thrilling, I have responsibilities, and who knows what the highbrow jerks want anyway <em> ‘oh shit did I just say that out loud’ </em>Regardless you and I both know that 5% is nothing.”</p><p>He gives me a sly smile seeing that he has an angle now, “Fine I’ll just raise my offer, and you seem like you wanna get away from <em> that </em>world more than I do.” He stresses the word ‘that’ seeming confident that he knows what I want.</p><p>“Mr. Barnu-”</p><p>“8%”</p><p>“I can’t-”</p><p>“9”</p><p>Oh gosh I want to do this more than he can know but just thinking about my parent’s anger is making me nervous, and I don’t normally make such impulsive decisions, but I do have lots of backup options lined up in case this fails, okay I can do this.</p><p>“I want 10%”</p><p>“Deal.”</p><p>Holy, I just did that-</p>
<hr/><p>After talking with Mr. Barnum I head straight home with the most exhilarating feeling that I cannot begin to explain but am still really nervous, I may need to start packing my stuff to move out of my parent’s house soon because once they find out about this it'll definitely be added to the list of things they hate me for but I have to do it. Hopefully, I can find a new place within the next week because that’s about the time it’ll take for the news to reach them. I also need to make a quick trip to the bank to make sure my trust fund is secure; I pull out a piece of paper and pen writing down everything that I need to do because planning is the only way I can think of to calm my nerves, relaxing isn’t really my strong suit. I finish planning everything to the last detail and head downstairs to the kitchen for a snack when I find my parents both sitting at the dining room table talking about Barnum’s Circus;</p><p>“It’s quite foolish, George, they want to be “inclusive” and make people feel “accepted” when all they’re doing is mucking up the town”, my mother says as she sips her cup of tea.</p><p>“No I agree, they’re a bunch of-”</p><p>This is where I interrupt, no need for this to go overboard, and knowing my father that’s exactly where this was heading;</p><p>“Sooo umm, mom how’s your tea.” </p><p>“Oh hello Adora, I didn’t see you there, and I’m doing fine thanks for asking.”</p><p>I rub the back of my neck and let out a small nervous laugh, “oh sorry I forgot to ask how are you both doing today?” Unsure where this conversation is headed I keep making small talk until I can find a convenient time to leave, which takes about enough time for my father to criticize my clothes, my mother to criticize my hair, and both of them managing to bring up the topic of marrying a “fine young rich man” not once but twice stressing on the concept of the responsibility I have and what I owe this family, after this tiring conversation I am positive that I need to leave with or without the circus so I start secretly packing my essentials, tomorrow I’m going to tour Barnum’s Circus and hopefully that’s when everything will change. </p>
<hr/><p>“Welcome to Barnum’s Circus! You must be Ms. Carlyle, I’m Bow and I’m happy to show you around”, the tall grinning man says to me the second I walk in the entrance, he seems very sweet and eager to show off the place, so I reply with just as big a smile and say, “Yup that would be me, and no need for formalities you can just call me Adora”, I get an even bigger smile when he says, “Alright Adora lets get to it!”</p><p>We go through each part of the circus and I get to meet a lot of the performers and behind the scenes staff, one woman in overalls who seems to be the lights technician asks for my help to hold a few wires while she “updates the system”  because it’s old and according to her theories this is the only way to fix it; when I ask about what her theories are she gets very excited while saying, “I’ve waited years for someone to ask me about my theories”, in short, it was a very fun conversation and everyone here seems great. </p><p>After meeting most of the performer’s Bow guides me up to a booth so that I can get a better look at the trapeze artists who are practicing right now, I don’t have much time to position myself because the second I’m in the booth one of them swings directly at me coming so close, her arms extended toward me as if they were reaching for something that wasn’t quite there, close enough that if I reached out I would touch her, my eyes go wide and I think my heart might’ve skipped a beat... she’s beautiful. I am at a loss for words at how graceful she looks just swinging in the air like that, for the seconds that I can process I can see that one of her eyes are blue and the other is yellow, she has freckles scattered across her face, and a sly smile with her red painted lips. The only thing I know for sure is that I have to meet her.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Catra thinks about Adora and talks to her brother.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is kind of a shorter chapter, but don't worry its just all part of the build-up (~˘▾˘)~</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Catra POV</p><p>After practice I was told that I was going to be introduced to the junior partner, which I could only assume was the woman I saw while I was practicing with wide blue eyes, and long blonde hair put up in a ponytail with a little poof at the top, during practice I had smiled at her but I’m not sure why... I never smile at anyone. At one point Winston had to tell me to lighten up because I was scaring people, I mean people being scared seemed like a them problem but whatever. </p><p>Regardless, WD and I clean up and go down the steps from the trapeze area to find both the junior partner and Bow in our faces;</p><p>“Oh Catra, WD there you are, I want you to meet our junior partner Ms. Adora Carleyle, oh and make sure to call her Adora”, he says with one of his big smiles that I’m going to need to get used to, he reminds me of my brother in a way, it’s like the happiness radiates off them.</p><p>Adora extends her hand out to me with a soft smile, but when she sees that my hands are currently preoccupied with unwrapping the athletic tape around my wrists she switches to look at Winston and goes, “Hi, I’m Adora it’s great to finally meet you both!”, Winston then takes her hand introducing himself and gives a small introduction of who I am; they seem to hit it off pretty quickly because, after introductions and small talk, they move on to talking about some author that they both like. </p><p>I stand there for a bit trying to distract myself but I can’t seem to stop staring at Adora and how she keeps up with Winston so well, nodding and leaning into the conversation, laughing with him and not at him, but I force myself to look away and start turning so that I can walk back to my dressing room. But then I see her glance at me like she wants to say something, she opens and closes her mouth but no words come out until she seems to give up, smiling shyly at me instead and looking back to Winston, as I walk away I can hear her tell Winston that she’ll be here every day this week as she gets used to things. Guess I’ll be seeing a lot more of her.</p><hr/><p>After changing out of my leotard into my regular clothes and undoing my hair from its ponytail I hear a knock at my door and can only assume that it’s Winston from the excited way he knocks. Surely enough it is and he barges in the room beaming, talking a mile a minute;</p><p>“Adora is so sweet, and we have so many things in common! You know I would have never thought that I’d be able to find things in common with someone who grew up so differently, you know but she is extremely caring and you can tell that she’s not snobby like all those other rich people and we get to see her-”</p><p>He stops abruptly and looks at me expectantly.</p><p>“What? Do I have something on my face?”</p><p>“No you just, you didn’t stop or interrupt me this time, you feeling okay?”</p><p>“I mean yeah, that’s such a random question, if you’re done with your rant then we should get going.”</p><p>“No no wait something’s going on and don’t worry you’re big brother will figure it out for you.”</p><p>“Umm no, what my big brother needs to do is shut up before I punch him.”</p><p>An amused grin forms on his face and I can tell that he’s gonna start guessing things in 3... 2…</p><p>“Oooh your angry, I wonder what it could be I mean we didn’t do much today just the usual, breakfast, practice, and then.” He pauses and smiles at me again, I feel the need to punch that smile off his face… “<em>And</em> we met Adora, its that isn’t it, something with Adora?”</p><p>“Um.. no”, shit my voice cracked and I look away with a small blush, my body has betrayed me and my brother will never let this go.</p><p>“Bingo, you like her don’t you, Ms. we can’t form relationships with the people here.”</p><p>I think that I can still get out of this if I just, “Okay first of all I don’t know her enough to like her, and second I stand by my previous statement we both damn well know how these jobs work so yeah no relationships, so drop it.”</p><p>“Alright fine I’ll drop it, but Adora is really nice so if you want to-”</p><p>“Winston!”</p><p>“Okay, <em>fine</em> let’s go home.”</p><hr/><p>Thankfully, Winston didn’t say a word about Adora on the way home, but apparently, my brain didn’t get the memo because as I stare at the ceiling waiting to fall asleep she’s all I can think about. The way her bluebell eyes were filled with so much warmth and kindness or her smile and how it shifted to show exactly how she’s feeling. I groan and shake my head trying to bring myself back to reality, thoughts mean nothing, no one cares whether I want to just talk to her or be close to her, no, society only sees one thing and that… that’s what could destroy both of us. Besides I barely know the girl, not to mention that work has to be my main focus right now, keeping my distance is what’s best for us both and I’m good at keeping myself busy so ignoring one girl can’t be that difficult. I finally get all the thoughts and worries out of my head and manage to drift off to sleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Adora thinks about Catra, has an incident with her parents, and shares a heart to heart moment with Catra.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter was both fun and difficult to write (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)</p><p>CONTENT WARNING: There is a scene with Adora's dad where he does say some phrases that could be triggering to some people or the scene itself can be triggering, so feel free to skip it if you need to, its in the second section so right after the first horizontal line.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Adora POV</p><p>Catra is officially avoiding me. I thought I was being dramatic at first, but I feel like I’m constantly on a wild goose chase, everytime I even come close to being able to talk to her she somehow disappears into thin air! Just the other day I could have sworn I heard her talking to Entrapta backstage but when I got there she was gone and Entrapta just shrugged at me. I even got so close once when I literally bumped into her when she was about to head into practice, but we ended up kind of just staring at each other with my hands on her arms keeping her from falling until she said she had to go. <em> Why didn’t I say anything?! </em> </p><p>The problem- if I’m being honest with myself- is that the second I see her my mind just goes completely blank and all I can do is smile at her like an idiot no words coming out. Either way, if she is avoiding me I want to give her space because pushing her boundaries would just be selfish on my part, and I probably should start focusing on my junior partnership anyway because publicity for the circus is needed from how much controversy there is.</p><p>The controversy is getting so bad that recently protests boycotting the circus are just getting more and more popular, the protestors even started bringing full-on torches with fire and I swear I saw someone carrying a pitchfork. Thankfully though Mr. Barnum is taking care of a lot of it looking for new acts, he hasn’t found anything so far but soon enough I know he will from his determination. I’m also trying to stir up some publicity by seeing if I can plan a tour of some kind for the circus so that it can get better coverage but it’s a work in progress. I sigh, that’s all stuff I can work out later though for now I turn off my bedroom light and try to fall asleep.</p><hr/><p>In the morning, I wake up to the sounds of yelling coming from downstairs and my adrenaline automatically starts pumping. I grab the robe next to my bed and run downstairs as quickly as my legs let me, hoping, praying, that it isn’t what I think it is. But sure enough, I find my father screaming at the top of his lungs to whoever’s near him, which consists of my mother and a bunch of the staff, including Lucy shaking with her hand on the door. Something had happened. I stop staring at Lucy to fully take in my surroundings, there is a broken vase on the floor shattered in a million pieces which I could only assume my father caused, and a bunch of the staff trying to clean it up as quickly as they could looking as if they want to leave as soon as possible and boy do I understand that feeling… my train of thought gets caught off when I hear my name in all the commotion;</p><p>“ADORA, YOU INSOLENT CHILD!”</p><p> I’ve heard my father call me this numerous times in my life, many times as a child, whenever I messed up a grade at school or spoke too loudly at the dinner table or just acted like myself, but I had always assumed it stemmed from some deep-rooted past that had affected him, giving him excuse after excuse but this time it sounded different, the deep anger in his voice and the way he was looking at me as if I was a stranger that, that was different.</p><p>“Yes?” My voice comes out in a whisper, I can't seem to bring it higher.</p><p>“HOW DARE YOU ASSOCIATE WITH SUCH DISGRACEFUL PEOPLE, HOW DARE YOU TURN YOUR BACK ON THIS FAMILY.”</p><p>“But how-”</p><p>“How what, how did I find out that my only child had disgraced our family name?! It’s in the fucking newspaper Adora! Our name the one that has been passed down for generations, the name that numerous people respect and see as high status has been tainted by the likes of <em> you </em>.”</p><p>I stare at him in utter shock, <em> how </em>the news found its way to the public does not bother me, I am in no way ashamed of who I choose to call friends, but could he really be this upset about me joining some circus? Could he excuse all his behavior for one minor thing? But before I can even say a word before I could defend myself or yell back at him or tell him how his words mean absolutely nothing to me, he says in an oddly calm tone;</p><p>“Pack your stuff and go, this isn’t your home anymore.”</p><p>I turn toward my mother to gauge her reaction but she looks at me with the same shame in her eyes and nods as if condoning my father’s actions. </p><p>“This was never my home”, I manage to let out as I climb back up the stairs to collect my things thankfully my essentials are already packed so that makes it somewhat easier, but as I’m packing the remainder of my things I feel a rush of sadness spark through me, all the excuses that I was giving, each thought where I told myself it wasn’t as bad as it was or that it was probably my fault anyway, they come crumbling down. I quickly wipe the tears that had formed trying my best to control myself, <em> not now </em>, I have to make it out of here first, so I grab my bag and head downstairs. Finding Lucy by the door, I give her a quick but warm hug, thank her and tell her to give my deepest thanks to the rest of the staff. She nods at me with tears in her eyes, wishing me the best and I leave.</p><p>When I get to the end of the walkway I turn back to look at that house, the house that I used to find some comfort in, even when I was being yelled at or called awful things I still considered it home, but now when looking at the building... I feel nothing. No not nothing I feel hurt. So with all the unresolved problems hanging over me and that house, I take a deep breath and push myself to walk away.</p><hr/><p>With an ache in my heart, barely able to hold my tears any longer, I go to the first place I can think of, the circus. All I want is to lie down on a soft bed, but I haven’t found an apartment yet so the bench near the entrance of the circus building will have to do, I put my bag on the bench and sit right next to it putting my hands on my face and elbows on my knees letting myself sob, it’s about 5 AM so I have about four hours before people start coming in, that should be enough time to get things under control. After a while of sitting in this position, I hear the main entrance door open and someone steps out, I dont care enough to lift my head until I can hear the person come closer to me and say with a low voice;</p><p>“Hey, hey, Adora?”</p><p>I look up to find two concerned eyes staring back at me… one yellow and one blue.</p><p>“C-catra”, I say through a sniffle, “what are you doing here so early?” I don’t bother trying to make myself look more presentable, there isn’t really a point anymore, she saw me.</p><p>“Oh I like to come here early to practice sometimes, it’s-”, she pauses to think of the right word and I can see her brain going through a million suggestions, thinking about how much she wants to share,  “calming… I could ask you the same thing, you alright?”</p><p>I start coming up with different reasons why I’m here, but when I open my mouth to lie the truth only comes out, “no.” I tear up at the admission. She looks at me with the same concerned eyes and points at the empty part of the bench, “can I?” I nod.</p><p>After sitting down she doesn’t look at me she just says in the most sincere tone, “I know we don’t know each other very well but do you wanna talk about it?” When I shake my head she adds, “that’s alright, you don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with.” We sit like that for a while until Catra lets out a soft chuckle, “I’m sorry, it’s just that I’ve never been very good with emotions that’s more of my brother’s strong suit, I’m more of the let off steam some other way girl or drink your feelings away type.”</p><p>I give a small smile at that, not sure if she can see it though because she’s still staring straight ahead, “me too, I like to punch my feelings out.”</p><p>“Yeah exactly you get it… when I was a kid a lot of the time my mom, whos a lot like my brother, would try to get me to talk it out with her but I could never do it, so my um dad-”, she takes a deep breath as if pushing herself to continue, “would take me to the park to the highest hill we could find and let me scream at the sky, he liked to call it our little therapy sessions”, she smiles at the memory.</p><p>“You seem very close.”</p><p>“Yeah, we were.”</p><p>“Were?” I echo the word.</p><p>“They both passed away when I was about 13.”</p><p>“Catra I’m so sorry”, I say realizing that she’s just shared a really personal part of her life.</p><p>“No, no it’s okay it was a long time ago and I don’t even know how I started talking about myself, I don’t usually overshare like that, I’m sorry.”</p><p>I put my hand on her shoulder so that she can look at me and when she does I realize just how close we are, “don’t apologize when you didn’t do anything wrong and if you ever want to share anything I’m here to listen, okay?”</p><p>She gives me a small smile before saying, “Okay thank you, and when you’re ready-”</p><p>“I know,” I say with a content smile.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Catra and Adora tease each other; Catra slowly realizes her feelings for Adora.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I finally got around to finishing this chapter up and all I can say is <a href="https://media1.tenor.com/images/533e0053ee9c95b074a736b16ea9b738/tenor.gif?itemid=12442336">insert gif here</a> (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ ☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Catra POV</p><p>I turn to look at Adora with her red-rimmed puffy eyes and her hand on my shoulder,</p><p>“Hey, Adora?”</p><p>“Yeah?” She says a bit breathless.</p><p>“What’s with the bag?”</p><p>She drops her hand from my shoulder and turns to grab the duffel bag, I find myself missing her touch.</p><p>“Oh umm well I might have just gotten kicked out of my parent’s house”, she says in the most innocent tone, making the issue seem smaller than it is.</p><p>I let myself put on an amused grin and raise an eyebrow, “you what?”</p><p>“Well it wasn’t <em>totally </em>my fault, my father’s an asshole so I’m pretty sure it was going to happen eventually and I was looking to move out anyway”, she replies casually with a shrug.</p><p>“Adora, do you know where you’re staying tonight?”, I can’t stop myself from saying her name, I want to keep saying it over and over again.</p><p>“Not exactly, but don’t worry about me I’ll figure something out.”</p><p>“Yeah, that’s a horrible answer, you can stay with me and Winston”, I pause to consider how forward I sound, “I mean if you want to.”</p><p>“Wait really? Catra, that’s so sweet, I’d love to.”</p><p>“Mmmhm”, I blush looking away, I like hearing her say my name almost as much as I like saying hers.</p><p>“You know people are wrong about you, they always say that your cold and distant, guess they didn’t take the time to get to know you huh.”</p><p>Fuck she’s cute.</p><p>“I am cold and distant”, I reply shortly, waiting for her reaction.</p><p>“<em>Sure</em> you are”, she makes sure to stress on each word so I know she’s teasing me.</p><p>“I am!” I say with a voice crack.</p><p>She lets out a full laugh and hugs me, “Well then thank you anyway, I feel special now.”</p><p>I hug her back. “This isn’t because I like you”, and for that, I get another laugh and she hugs me even tighter, I laugh too.</p><hr/><p>After about two hours of just sitting on the bench getting to know Adora, we both decide that we should go inside and start getting ready for the show. </p><p>As I adjust my hair and makeup in the mirror of my dressing room I think about how easy it was talking to Adora and how strangely vulnerable I got, vulnerability is something that has never come easy to me, I rarely am vulnerable and the only time that I even started getting close to it was with Winston after our parents died. I take a deep breath…  I miss them, specifically my dad, with the passing years the memories of him get more and more distant, and talking about him today felt good, it felt safe. I wipe the tears that automatically form when I’m thinking about my parents and fix my makeup making sure to add a winged liner and my signature dark red lipstick for the show. I put on my red and gold performance leotard on and before I could move to make sure that my hair is in place I hear a knock at the door followed by a voice;</p><p>“Hey, Catra, can I come in?” It’s Adora, this is the first time she’s ever come straight to my dressing room, when I was trying to keep my distance from her I always noticed that she would wait to hear my voice first and then ask about me when I was gone. One time I even had to climb up a rope so that she couldn’t see me, thankfully Entrapta didn’t rat me out, but now I don’t mind talking to Adora, I did offer her to stay with us after all, I should probably let Winston know about that;</p><p>“Yeah come in.” </p><p>She opens the door and walks in all while saying, “Okay so Bow and Glimmer just came in and I think they said that they saw Winston and he’s coming soon, but I was a little distracted so I-”, she stops suddenly and kind of just stares at me for a second, I’m a little confused before I see the blush or at least what I think is a blush forming on her face;</p><p>“Adora?”</p><p>She snaps out of whatever she was thinking and simply says, “you look so beautiful.”</p><p>“I look huh?” I stutter suddenly really flustered and caught off guard.</p><p>Her smile gets bigger and she repeats herself, “you look so beautiful Catra, but here let me put your hair in a higher ponytail so it doesn’t bother you while performing, only if you’ll let me of course.”</p><p>She waits for me to nod and then gets behind me to fix it, she’s a bit taller than me so we’re in the perfect position for her to fix the ponytail. She first unties my now- for performance purposes- straightened hair, before running her fingers through it and I shiver.</p><p>“You cold?” she asks.</p><p>“Kind of”, I lie surprised that I was able to find my voice with her so freaking close to me. She then proceeds to rub up and down my bare arms and I genuinely think I’m gonna pass out from her touch. <em> Why am I like this?! </em></p><p>“Warmer?”</p><p>“Yeah, uhh thanks.”</p><p>“Mhhm”, she says happily before saying, “okay I’m going to just bring back all your hair and tie it near the top of your head, and don’t worry I’m a professional”, she giggles to herself before doing just that, she’s such a dork, I smile to myself. When she’s done she lets out a “tada!” and then goes to the front to make sure it’s even or something, honestly I blanked out the second she said she needed to see the front. </p><p>She then positions herself in front of me and gets dangerously close, fixing my baby hairs, I can feel my breath hitch as she tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, and I could’ve sworn she glanced down at my lips, when she’s done she steps back to examine her work, “lovely”, she says while smiling.</p><p>“Well I’d hope so, you seem to do them every day”, I say while chuckling.</p><p>She laughs too, “not the ponytail you idiot <em> you </em>.”</p><p>Is her goal to get me as flustered as possible? I’m totally going to get back at her for this when I find a good opportunity.</p><p>“Well, thank you and thank you for fixing the ponytail, just in time too, the show’s going to start soon”</p><p>“Anytime”, she says smiling proudly, as we both leave the room.</p><hr/><p>I grab Winston right after the last show and start explaining to him a summary of what happened and how I ended up inviting Adora to stay with us, but the second I ask if this is okay with him, he gives an excited squeal and says, “Okay? Of course, this is okay! Adora is great and you know what this means right?”</p><p>I sigh, “I know I’m going to regret asking this but what Winston, what does it mean?”</p><p>He smirks before saying, “it means you like-”</p><p>“Nope, uh uh we’re not doing this today, come on let’s go get Adora so we can go home.”</p><p>He puts an arm around my shoulders and says, “Okay, but this is really great for you, and having Adora around will be fun.”</p><p>I get out of his grasp pushing him away lightly before saying, “Stop making a big deal out of this, it’s not a big deal!”</p><p>“<em>Sure</em>”, he says as he grabs me and ruffles my hair.</p><p>“Winston! You’re going to ruin my fucking hair!”</p><p>“Am I?” He says mocking me, playing it off.</p><p>And then suddenly were pushing and shoving each other laughing our heads off just like when we were little kids until we hear someone clearing their throat and two people giggling. I look up to see Glimmer in front of us trying to hold back a smile and Bow and Adora giggling right behind her, suddenly embarrassed I fix my hair as best as I can as Glimmer says,</p><p>“Okay, we’re just going to move past that-”</p><p>Bow cuts her off saying, “But that was soooo cute.”</p><p>I shake my head saying, “No not cute!”</p><p>Glimmer gains control of the conversation again and says, “Alright, Catra and Winston your performance was great today a lot of people were talking about the trapeze act so keep up the good work, I think we can all head out now.”</p><p>Glimmer and Bow then say goodbye to all of us and leave the room hand in hand, and I even have to admit that their relationship is a little cute. We all stand quietly for a couple of seconds before Winston breaks the silence with his excitement, “Okay guys let’s go home!” Adora smiles agreeing and we leave the circus.</p><hr/><p>The second we step into the apartment Wintson looks between me and Adora excitedly with an eager smile plastered on his face, rubbing his hands together, and says,</p><p>“I don’t know about you guys but I’m starving, who’s up for some pasta?”</p><p>“Umm ya sure”, I respond, Winston is a pretty good cook, and his pasta’s my favorite.</p><p>Adora looks at him with her shining eyes and says, “I love pasta, that would be great.”</p><p>“Alright I’m gonna get it started then, you two can just go sit on the couch or something until I’m done”, he says not even trying to hide his amusement, shit he’s set this up.</p><p>We both go directly to the living room, flopping on the couch from the exhaustion of today, after were both comfortably positioned with our heads leaned back against the coach Adora turns to me;</p><p>“Thank you again for letting me stay here, it means a lot to me.”</p><p>“Pfftt it’s no problem really.”</p><p>She gives a small content hum and closes her eyes, she looks so peaceful. We sit in silence just enjoying each other’s company until Winston pops in telling us dinner is ready. For dinner Winston and I normally would eat on the couch but for today we sit around the dining table so focused on our food that no one says anything until Adora sighs,</p><p>“This is nice, I don’t think I’ve had a nice family meal like this in a long time”, she says with a small smile.</p><p>Winston puts his hand over hers, smiling back, “well you’re welcome here anytime”, and I nod in agreement.</p><p>For the rest of the dinner we crack jokes about our jobs, gossip, and just genuinely enjoy ourselves, I don’t think I’ve laughed this hard in a while, and it’s really nice. After dinner, we argue where everyone is going to sleep because even though Adora insists she can sleep on the couch Winston and I both agree that she’s a guest and should get a bed, so I end up offering her my bed and saying that I’ll sleep on the couch. </p><p>Winston ends up going to bed first saying something about having a long day tomorrow, leaving me and Adora in the living room alone… “you want a cup of tea?” I ask her.</p><p>“Sure”, she says with another one of her smiles that light up her face. We walk over to the kitchen and I put a kettle with some water to boil, before sitting up on the counter facing Adora. Adora stares at me clearly zoned out thinking about something,</p><p>“Whatcha thinking ‘bout princess?”, I ask testing out the nickname, with my head slightly tilted, raising an eyebrow with a sly smile.</p><p>“Hmm.. uh nothing”, she replies flustered with a blush.</p><p>And I know I probably shouldn’t push her but I’m way too curious now and teasing her couldn’t hurt so in a sultry voice I say, “Hmm? Wanna elaborate, seems interesting.”</p><p>She clearly wasn’t expecting that because she just gets more flustered, “Catra!” </p><p>“What? I’m not doing anything”, I say innocently.</p><p>She then looks at me… eager? I can’t describe the look she’s giving me but I like it. She walks over and gets real close to the position I’m in on the counter going somewhat in between my legs;</p><p>“A-Adora what are you-”</p><p>She puts her right hand right next to my thigh on the counter and I almost shudder but then she leans over suddenly turning off the stove, </p><p>“Oh the waters boiling so I thought I’d get it for you”, she says with a smirk.</p><p>I’ve lost all concept of how to form any words, all I manage to say is her name in which she responds with,</p><p>“What? I’m not doing anything”, repeating what I said earlier.</p><p>I both want to grab her and kiss her for that but also be annoyed that she managed to fluster me… again! <em> Why am I so weak like this when it comes to her?! </em> So I decide to push her back gently and hop off the counter so that I can regain control of my thoughts but I think she senses that I’m a little annoyed because while I’m turned around she puts her hand on my arm. Then when I melt into her touch she hugs me from behind our breathing becoming in sync.</p><p>“You’re a great friend Catra”, she says in a whisper, any sign of teasing completely gone in her voice.</p><p>My emotions are all over the place right now, but I lean into her so that I can hug her back…</p><p>“You too.”</p><p>I end up somehow making the tea and we drink it talking about easy things before we both say good night… I have a lot to think about.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Scientists: water actually takes about 10 min to boil :/<br/>Me for this fic: Shhh, nobody needs to know</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Adora starts planning something for the circus and connects with Catra.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>And there it is... chapter 6! Genuinely expected myself to give up on like chapter 2 so yay for the little things. This also should be the halfway point so whoo! <a href="https://media3.giphy.com/media/84ZzhsJZWlE3e/giphy.gif">Accurate depiction of what I look like right now ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ</a></p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Adora POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Its been about a week since the kitchen incident and I still can’t get any of it out of my head, her sultry voice, how she got up on the counter so gracefully, and the way that all I wanted to do was kiss her until she was lying on the counter and-</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Shit, where did that come from?!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I have to get all my thoughts under control before,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Adora!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A voice snaps me out of my fantasy and I remember that I’m in a meeting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you think we should do about the controversy surrounding the circus?” Mr. Barnum asks me expectantly, with both Glimmer and Bow by his side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh umm… well we should create more publicity and bring new acts so that people can be more accepting of-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Glimmer cuts me off, “Adora we already said stuff like that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh gosh, I’m screwed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry I’m a little out of it today,” I pause remembering an old idea I had, “Wait, you know what I think I might have a way to fix this, we’re popular in Europe right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right!” Bow responds enthusiastically.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So we should take the circus on a trip to Europe to gain publicity, there’s this new singer that’s popular, I think her name was Lonnie, anyway if we could get her to join us a lot of people would become more accepting, it’s like adding a celebrity to our act.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I hold my breath waiting for their reaction this can go so many ways.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s a wonderful idea!” Mr. Barnum says passionately, and from the expression on his face he seems to be coming up with even more ideas, “Alright Adora you're in charge of the Europe trip, Bow and Glimmer you two need to start figuring out how we can invite Ms. Lonnie to our circus, I’m going to make more connections so that this can work.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“On it,” all three of us say at the same time. I guess I should start planning a trip to Europe, how hard could it be?</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>It’s hard. Planning a trip to Europe is way harder than I thought it was going to be, I’m sitting on the couch in Winston and Catra’s apartment surrounded by five different travel books, two maps, two train catalogs and a bunch of papers with each performers accommodation needs and contact information all scattered around me haphazardly. Now I love planning, but this is a lot to handle on my own, not to mention that I also need to use some of my father’s contacts to be able to help the circus afford any of this, and those are conversations that I am not looking forward to. Before I start going into a spiral of worry I look up to see Catra leaning against the door frame with a smirk on her face, “Heyyy Adora, watcha doing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I sigh, “Trying to plan a fucking trip to Europe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oooh you’re mad that either means it’s going terribly or you overestimated how difficult it’s gonna be,” she says moving the papers so that she can sit next to me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh gosh, she reads me like a book, “I mean it’s not going terribly just… not how I planned?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here let me see what I can help with.” She says already reaching over me to grab the train catalog and for the seconds that she’s leaning over me, I hold my breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, this part doesn’t look too hard all you have to do is go to the train station and buy the tickets in advance to reserve the seats.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No I know but then I have to make sure that everything is in order and all the performer’s accommodations are met and make sure everything is affordable and reserve the place we’re going to perform and decide what train station in the first place and write up the schedule and make sure that Perfuma isn’t sitting next to Entrapta and that everything is perfect and-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She suddenly grabs my face pulling me out of whatever spiral I was going in, “Hey, hey, you’re not doing this alone, okay? I can help you do all of that, now snap out of it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I let go of a breath I didn't know I was holding, “Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your welcome now let’s get started.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So, for the next couple of hours, we sit planning every last thing making sure to leave room for flexibility or changes in the plan. I am so beyond grateful for Catra’s help and that she even offered to help, I’m so used to doing everything on my own that I sometimes forget asking for help is an option. We keep working in a blur of small touches, laughs, and glances here and there until we get to the part where I have to reach out to some of my father’s contacts, and the atmosphere shifts. Catra seems to notice because she looks at me a bit concerned, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Adora? You okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s just… it’s hard for me to talk about some things,” I trail off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well if you don’t want to-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no I want to but I’ve been repressing things all my life because it seemed easier so I don’t have a lot of practice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She seems to understand because she takes my hand and curls her fingers around mine, “I know this won’t necessarily make it easier but if you want to talk I’m right here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking into her eyes and seeing how sincere she is I decide to tell her everything- well everything I manage to get out- about my dad and his yelling and the cruel names he used to call me and how my mom never listened to me and chose him over me again and again and that no matter what I’d do it’d never be enough. I even manage to talk about Lucy and how even though she wasn’t there for my childhood, my connection with her is more than it ever will be with my parents. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then when I start to cry talking about the control they had over me for years Catra wraps her arms around me and just holds me telling me it’s going to be okay while simultaneously saying how she wants to kick their asses for ever hurting me and it makes me feel… wanted. Eventually, after I stop crying I lift my head from Catras arms and find her so close, I lean in on impulse and she puts her hand on my cheek gently stopping me with a somewhat pained look in her eye and I understand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A-Adora, we can’t,” she says breathless, probably from our closeness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I let out another breath and bring my forehead to lean on hers, “I know.” And we just sit like that leaning on each other, breathing.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>The next morning I wake up to the smell of breakfast and on my way to the kitchen, I find Catra sleeping on the couch (as she insisted she does), and fix the blanket so that it covers her properly, resisting the urge to kiss her forehead. Then when I get to the kitchen I find Winston cooking. I yawn, “Good morning, Winston.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning sleeping beauty!” He says in his normal cheery voice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You're making breakfast?” I ask a bit confused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no I mean normally we’re all in such a rush to get to work, so this is new,” I say with a small chuckle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ohhh I forgot you haven’t heard the news yet,” he says worriedly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What news?” The concern showing in my voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh gosh, maybe you should sit down for this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After I sit down he starts explaining, “Well last night after we left, the circus was attacked, don’t worry no one got hurt, except Mermista who did break her arm defending Sea Hawk but she’s mostly fine now, but other than that it was just a lot of property damage, Glimmer came by this morning with the news and said to not come into work today.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god, that's so awful, poor Mermista, and the circus is already barely affording anything this is really going to hurt it,” as I process Winston's words I can feel my concern turn into anger, “And why would anyone do this in the first place?! They can hate the circus all they want but to go as far as to hurt people it’s it’s…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Disgusting!” Winston offers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah! Absolutely disgusting, such assholes!” I get up from my chair and start pacing the kitchen, “There has to be some kind of solution, we can’t just let them get away with this… wait, were they even arrested?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, the cops mostly ignore stuff like this, and I’m pretty sure no one could identify the attackers.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is so frustrating, do they even realize that they’re protesting against a circus… a fucking circus! Like why is that such a big deal, just let people be themselves!” I throw my hands up in the air.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well hateful people hate anyone different than them, and the circus is filled with what people mostly consider different,” Winston says calmly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There has to be something I can do,” I say still pacing the kitchen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s up with her?” I hear a voice say behind me, and when I turn around I find Catra looking absolutely adorable with her curly hair surrounding her face in a puff like a cloud, rubbing her eyes having just woken up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I’m sorry Catra, did I wake you up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah it’s okay, I was going to have to wake up anyway, now what’s going on?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Winston then explains everything that happened at the circus and how we aren’t going to work today to which she responds with,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fucking assholes, even the simplest things they try to shut down.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I keep pacing the room trying to think of ideas mumbling under my breath every once in a while until I feel a hand on my shoulder,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Princess I love your energy but I really don’t think we can think of a solution right now especially since this shit has been going on longer than you know, </span>
  <em>
    <span>but </span>
  </em>
  <span>the Europe trip you planned should be a big help, and that’s enough for now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I stare at Catra realizing just how much she and Winston have probably had to go through or have had to actively avoid when it comes to the authorities or hateful people in general, I’ve heard news of people of color being arrested unjustly but never fully sat down to process it all, I guess because it never directly affected me. I promise myself that I’ll do everything in my power to help and protect them, even if I know they don’t need my protection, I want to support them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not really knowing how to put any of these thoughts into words I stare into Catra’s eyes before hugging her tightly, she gives a small surprised yelp,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh and we’re hugging... okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a good minute of staying like this, I pull away suddenly determined to make this trip perfect saying, “Okay I should go talk to my father’s contacts so that we get a good deal on everything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You need help?” Catra asks a little concerned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I should be fine, I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>very </span>
  </em>
  <span>persuasive,” I say wiggling my eyebrows, and Catra chuckles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good luck! Oh, wait don’t you want breakfast?” Winston says grabbing two pancakes and putting syrup in the middle. I stare at it confused for a second before it registers,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ohh it’s a pancake sandwich!” We both start laughing hard at how weird it is.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gosh you guys are dorks,” Catra says rolling her eyes, hiding a small smile before leaving the room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I take in a deep breath, time to go persuade my father’s contacts to support the trip, I can do this, I have to do this.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The circus goes on a trip to Europe; Adora goes to Catra's hotel room.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Friendly reminder that this fic is not historically accurate, anywaysss Alexa play Kiss The Girl from the Little Mermaid (づ￣ ³￣)づ</p><p>Visual for <a href="https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0269/6570/4822/products/Frame6.jpg?v=1606665287">Catra's robe</a></p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Catra POV</p><p>Adora did it, I mean I knew that she could that girl is the most hardworking, determined person I’ve ever met but a part of me can’t believe it’s true even if I’m sitting next to her on a train going to Europe with the circus. I turn to look at her as stares out the window in wonder, I can’t believe I wouldn’t let her kiss me, but she’s just so and everything is just-</p><p>But damn do I want to kiss her...I sigh,</p><p>She puts her hand on my arm, “Catra, you okay? That was one hell of a sigh.” </p><p>She smiles at me, hopeful, the sun shines through the train window making half her face glow and her eyes bluer than usual.</p><p>“Pfftt of course I’m fine, just tired, go back to staring at the trees,” I say pushing her face gently back to the window. I can tell she’s not convinced from how she keeps glancing at me every five seconds, so I get up and put my hair in a quick bun at the top of my head and she stares at me in awe, guess she’s never seen someone with curly hair put their hair up. I say I’m going to get a snack, but in reality, I just need to somehow get a hold of my self, just being with her does something to me that I honestly can’t explain and I need to figure out what to do.</p><p>On the way to the snack bar, I bump straight into a tall muscular woman and I recognize her as the singer, Scorpia maybe?</p><p>“Kitty! Just so you know I’m a hugger!” She says excitedly basically lifting me off the ground in the huge bear hug she gives me.</p><p>I look up at her a bit confused, “Kitty?”</p><p>“Well, your name is Catra... Cat-ra, Cat-”</p><p>“No, no I get it,” I say putting a hand in front of me, “Your name’s Scorpia right?”</p><p>“That would be me!” she says proudly.</p><p>I don’t really know how to reciprocate the energy she’s giving off, and I use all the power left in me not to scowl at her, she’s just trying to be nice, “Umm cool, I’ve heard you sing, you’re really good.”</p><p>“Awe thank you!” She puts her arms out again to go in for another hug but I stop her by backing up a little and she seems to mostly understand. </p><p>“Well it was nice meeting you, I’m going to go back to my seat now,” I say pointing behind me.</p><p>So much for clearing my head. As I walk back to sit I notice how all the performers are in their own little bubbles; Entrapta’s staring down at her table taking detailed notes of everything, Mermista is listening to Sea Hawk talk about some kind of adventure groaning every couple of seconds at his exaggerations, Perfuma is full-on meditating in her seat, Frosta is having an arm wrestle competition with Wintson, and Glimmer and Bow are just well being themselves. I look around to see where Mr. Barnum went but when I don’t see him I just go flop down in my seat.</p><p>“So where’s your snack?” Adora asks with one eyebrow raised.</p><p>“Fuck.”</p><p>She grins, “Don’t worry, I’ll get us both something,” and before I can get up to let her out of the window seat, she’s already leaning over me with her hand on the back of the seat- <em> why did we choose the most cramped area </em> - she leans in closer to me so she could get out and when she’s close enough the comforting smell of peaches floods my nose - <em> of course, Adora would smell like peaches </em>- I have a clear view of her neck and I can’t help but wonder what it would be like to kiss it, she snaps me out of my thoughts when asking, “You good with a muffin?”</p><p>“Y-yup.”</p><p>“Okay I’ll be right back,” she finally pushes herself out and walks toward the snack bar and I let out a breath and lean back in my chair, covering my face with my hands, great I’m screwed.</p>
<hr/><p>When we arrive in London, I take in how breathtakingly beautiful it is, the sun is setting over a bunch of buildings and I’m left speechless as I watch the red and orange colors melt together. I feel someone walk up behind me and I turn around to find Adora with the colored light shining on her, the sunset is almost as beautiful as she is. </p><p>We get to the hotel we’re staying at and I guess Adora had to pull a lot of strings because this place is fancy as hell, I don’t think I’ve ever been in a place this nice. The floors are so polished that I can see my reflection on them and the poles are all gold, there’s even a waiter going around serving champagne to everyone, which I gladly accept, I mean who wouldn’t take free alcohol. I can tell that I’m not the only one shocked by everyone else’s equally shocked expressions, but also because Winston pokes me every once in a while to point out a new thing he hadn’t noticed before, like that the pitcher of water in the middle of the lobby table has lemons or how the lady at the front desk is pretty or the architectural design or the chandelier or… at one point I stop listening and kind of just stare at how in her element Adora is making sure everyone gets everything they need, walking around reassuring everyone with that comforting smile, it’s mesmerizing, to say the least.</p><p>When she approaches me I get weirdly nervous until I remind myself that it’s just Adora. </p><p>“So?” she says giving me an expectant look. </p><p>“Yes?” I say with my eyebrows raised, because if I can’t mess with Adora what’s the point of anything.</p><p>“Well, what do you think?” she says making sure I know what she’s asking.</p><p>“Oh it’s pretty,” I say nonchalantly, looking down at my nails to fully complete the act.</p><p>“Pretty? Oh, come on you have to give me more than that.” </p><p>“Give you more than what?” I tease.</p><p>“Catra.” Oh boy, she’s staring me down. Why is she staring me down?! Well, she has another thing coming if she thinks I’m going to cave this easily.</p><p>“Hmm?” I say with a smirk.</p><p>She takes a step toward me looking me up and down mirroring my smirk, I feel a chill go up my spine.</p><p>“Catra,” she says slowly, trying again.</p><p>“Fine, it’s <em>very </em>pretty,” I say looking up at her, as she keeps slowly inching closer, to the point where I take a step back easing against a pole.</p><p>“Well, I guess that’s better.”</p><p>“And it’s all you’re getting.”</p><p>“Okay come on Catra tell me what you really think,” she pushes, slightly caving.</p><p>“Make me.” </p><p>She looks shocked for a split second before giving me a look that says “challenge accepted”, <em> holy shit </em>, her hand hovers over my hip and her other hand is pushed against the pole locking me in, she starts to lean in close but then,</p><p>“Adora! We need you over here!” </p><p>That’s all it takes, the spell is broken, Adora steps back with a blush leaving me leaning against the pole, as she walks away she turns back to look at me and I don’t know how to feel about anything anymore.</p>
<hr/><p>After a couple of late-night performances, we go back to the hotel to officially settle into our rooms, and right after unpacking my stuff I take a nice bath trying to suppress all Adora related thoughts, but halfway through I hear a knock at the door, so I grab a towel as quickly as possible and wrap it around myself while I make my way to the door.</p><p>“I’m coming, I’m coming sheesh,” I say as the knocks get more frequent.</p><p>I open the door to find a panicked Adora, holding a letter.</p><p>“Oh come in,” I say slightly shaken at her expression, opening the door leading her toward the bed, “Sit.”</p><p>It looks like she’s about to say something, but stops taking in the state I’m in, which is basically naked except a towel with my curls floating around my head, a huge blush forms on her face, and I can’t help but blush too.</p><p>“Oh gosh, I just barged into your room, I’m sorry-”</p><p>“Adora it’s fine I promise, now what the hell is going on?”</p><p>She explains that Queen Victoria sent a letter to Mr. Barnum saying that we were invited to perform in front of her, an amazing opportunity for the performers and a once in a lifetime chance, but at the same time that that letter arrived, she received one from her parents. And after I looked over it a few times it was blatantly obvious that they are threatening her demanding that she goes back to New York right away or they’d, “show her what it’s really like to be disowned”, and I don’t even want to think about what that means.</p><p>I try to contain my anger towards them as best as I can to calm her and after calming her down a bit she relaxes for a while before getting up and pacing the room, which I’ve noticed she does when she’s nervous.</p><p>“I don’t know what to do, I can’t go back it’s like conceding or giving them more power over me, but if I stay I’m going to have to find out whether those were empty threats, what do you think?”</p><p>“I think you should turn around.”</p><p>“I should what?”</p><p>“It’s freezing and before I can really help you I need to find my robe so either turn around or you’ll have to see me naked in five seconds.”</p><p>Her face goes completely red and she quickly turns around, flustering her maybe my new favorite thing to do, but also it’s super cold in here, and being half-naked in front of her doesn’t leave me much room to think. I dig in the drawer and find my red silk robe.</p><p>“Okay, you can turn around now.”</p><p>“Are you sure?”</p><p>“Adora, what do mean am I sure, of course I’m sure.”</p><p>She chuckles probably from how annoyed I sound and turns around.</p><p>“Catra?”</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“That’s a <em> very </em>pretty robe,” she says quite amused bringing back the memory from the hotel lobby.</p><p>“Oh shut up, come on let’s see if we can think of a solution to your problem.”</p><p>After putting our heads together and getting all the bad ideas out of the way we come up with the plan that she’ll stay in London until after we perform in front of the Queen tomorrow and then she’ll take the first train back home just in case, which unfortunately does mean that her trip will be cut short and that I won’t get to see her as often as I’d like. But if this is what makes Adora comfortable I’ll support her. Out of exhaustion, we both end up lying down on our backs side by side on the queen-sized bed, and a question that’s been whirling in my head since we got here resurfaces. </p><p>“Hey, Adora?”</p><p>“Yeah?” she answers sleepily.</p><p>“How’d you manage to get us all our own rooms?”</p><p>“Oh you’re the only one who has her own room,” she says casually as if she hasn’t just dropped a really important piece of information on me. I sit up suddenly my hair getting in my face.</p><p>“What?!”</p><p>“Well you’ve been working so hard I thought you deserved it so I just told Winston not to tell you and figured you wouldn’t talk to anyone else, why?”</p><p>Stunned at her thoughtfulness, I’m at a loss for words, “I-”</p><p>She sits up and scoots closer to me leaning in, “You have really cute freckles you know that.”</p><p>I blush hard from how close she is not able to say anything, “Oh, and they’re gone,” she says giggling to herself, clearly proud of the effect she has on me. She has to be messing with me right, right?</p><p>“Adora your not drunk or anything right?”</p><p>“No of course not, I might be a little sleep deprived though, it’s like 3 AM.”</p><p>I pause to take in how carefree she’s suddenly being and I can’t help but think that it’s because she feels safe with me.</p><p>“Adora.”</p><p>“Yeah?” she says her eyes blinking slowly.</p><p>I think of the billion things I want to say to her but all I get out is, </p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p>She smiles at me and her hand moves to cup my cheek and I lean into her touch on instinct with a small hum. Before I know it she’s leaning in and so am I, then our lips touch and a contented sigh leaves me. Her lips are so soft and her touch makes me feel so <em>wanted</em>. My hand moves to her cheek and then to her hair tugging the ponytail out and running my fingers through it, the small sound she makes sets a fire in me and I deepen the kiss letting our tongues meet releasing some of the tension from the hotel lobby, pulling her closer so that we’re up against each other until we both pull away completely breathless. I stare into her blue eyes getting lost in them for a second,</p><p>“I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time,” she says, her voice not having been fully recovered, leaning her forehead against mine.</p><p>“Me too,” I respond taking in how true that is.</p><p>She pulls back and starts to get up but I grab her hand, she looks at me confused before I work up the courage to say, “You know… you can, can you stay for the night?”</p><p>A warm smile form on her lips, “Of course I can stay, I was just waiting for you to ask.”</p><p>I raise an eyebrow, “Waiting for me to ask huh,” I say before pulling her back down towards me.</p>
<hr/><p>I wake up the next morning to the smell of peaches and I realize that I’m curled into Adora with my head on her chest, we’re both fully clothed and I can’t remember how we ended up cuddling, I mean we started off on opposite sides of the bed, passing out from exhaustion. Her arm is draped over me holding me closer, I sigh, I really shouldn’t let myself enjoy this part so much when I know it can’t possibly last. I stare at her for a little while before her eyes flutter open.</p><p>“Good morning, princess.”</p><p>She makes a small sleepy noise and moves so her face is curled up in my neck and her arms tighten around my waist.</p><p>“Five more minutes please,” she says in the cutest voice I’ve ever heard and I have to fight myself to not give in.</p><p>“Nope, come on we’re going to be late,” I say trying to get up but realizing quickly that she has an iron grip on my waist, “Adora! Don’t make me wrestle my way out.”</p><p>“<em>Fine</em>, but if we did wrestle I’d probably win anyway, I’m bigger than you,” she says letting go brushing her fingertips over my hips.</p><p>She did not just, “I think you forgot that I have trapeze muscles, no way you’d win.” I say halfway off the bed.</p><p>“Wanna bet?” She says with another one of her smirks and I know exactly what she’s about to do. She grabs me by my waist and practically body slams me into the bed positioning herself on top, “I win,” she says proudly, smirking down at me.</p><p>“Not yet princess,” I say with an equally amused smirk, leaning into her so that I can wrap my leg around her calf and switch positions pinning her arms on the mattress above her head locking her in by straddling her hips, “<em> I </em>win,” I say out of breath. She stares up at me looking me up and down before saying, “Impressive, but I still think I ended up winning, now can you unpin me please I’d like to kiss you.”</p><p>I smile down at her amused going for the kiss without unpinning her arms and the shocked gasp that she lets out is worth it. I eventually unpin her and her hands go straight to my hair running her hands through it small sighs escaping both of us. I pull back slowly teasing her bottom lip and looking at the soft spot on her neck that I’ve been wanting to kiss since our train ride and when my lips make contact with it she lets out another gasp, “C-catra!” so I plant kisses up and down her neck until I feel her hands grab my hips and flip us over again, gosh she’s competitive. She pushes a few hairs behind my ear before leaning in and taking my lips in hers, Adora’s hands hover over the back of my knee where my robe has ridden up but before she can do anything there’s a knock at the door and we both flinch.</p><p>“Catra! I know you like to sleep in but you gotta get up so we’re not late to perform, for the QUEEN, did you hear the last bit the QUEEN,” Winston shouts over the door.</p><p>I clear my throat before yelling back, “I’ll be right down!”</p><p>“Okay good and have you seen Adora? No one can find her.”</p><p>I turn to look up at Adora on top of me with half her shirt’s buttons undone- <em> damn we work fast </em>- who is currently red and trying to hold back a laugh, “Umm n-nope, haven’t seen her.”</p><p>“Alright, if you see her just bring her with you.”</p><p>“Okay, see you there.”</p><p>The second we hear Winston leave we both break down into full-on laughter, stopping to wipe the tears from our eyes.</p><p>“Did that just happen?” She says still laughing.</p><p>A lot has happened the past 24 hours, that I haven’t fully processed yet, “Yeah.”</p>
<hr/><p>We race to change so that we can get to the lobby as quickly as possible, Adora wearing a black and white tux that looks insanely good on her and I’m in a fancier purple trapeze uniform with a low beaded neckline that I brought specifically for this trip, its a bit different then what I normally wear but I think it suits the occasion and Adora keeps staring at me so I’ll take that as a good sign. </p><p>When we get downstairs all the performers are huddled in different areas each having their own conversations waiting to be instructed on what to do. I reluctantly part from Adora so that she can do her job and go stand next to Winston,</p><p>“So, guess you found her after all,” he says trying to hide his laugh with a cough.</p><p>“Shut up,” I say blushing, I always seem to forget how much my brother knows me.</p><p>“Yes ma’am,” he says his smile getting wider.</p><p>“Okay, everyone!” Glimmer calls out directing the room, “So as you all know we’re about to go to Buckingham Palace to perform in front of the queen, I have full confidence that we’ll do amazing, let’s make this a performance to remember!” I catch Adora looking at me across the room and give her a small smiling trying to telepathically tell her she has nothing to be worried about.</p>
<hr/><p>After the performance at Buckingham Palace, which I must say went extremely well- except for the part when Entrapta interrupted the queen, but even that worked out with the Queen showing her humorous side- we all go back to our hotel rooms to get ready for the afterparty. But for some reason, I can’t get myself to do that so opt to stand on the balcony staring at the lights and breathing in the crisp cool air, but even then I still can’t think straight. I mean today has been a roller coaster for multiple reasons, and getting recognition for my act felt amazing but at the back of my mind all I can think about is Adora and how much I care about her, everything about her fills me with a warmth that I can’t explain and I-</p><p>I cut off my thoughts, shaking my head frustrated at myself, that part doesn’t matter, this could never work there are too many obstacles in the way, forget about what I’d have to face just thinking about what Adora’s parents would do sends a chill up my spine, the only way to really protect her is to end it. Tears form in my eyes, I have to end it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Freckles scene inspired by <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CAvUjNPjRCr/">this adorable art</a> by @itshuansart on Instagram. </p><p>Also whoo welcome to the rollercoaster that is Catra's emotion :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Adora and Catra have to talk (well kinda), and Adora goes home.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I was gonna post this tomorrow but ended up editing it much quicker than I thought, and yes there is officially a total amount of chapters now whoop whoop! Anyways here's chapter 8 \ (•◡•) /</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Adora POV</p><p>I’m standing in a crowd of strangers at the afterparty, and it’s a strange feeling because growing up these are the parties I was always forced to attend, I was told time and time again that <em> this </em>is supposed to be my crowd, the people who will help me rise higher, but all I ever felt was alone and it’s no different this time around. The afterparty is incredibly boring as usual, but the key difference from the other parties is that I’m here by choice to support the circus and business-wise it’s looking pretty good, Mr. Barnum seems to be succeeding in convincing the famous singer Lonnie to join as an act, but if I’m being honest with myself the person on my mind isn’t Lonnie, it’s Catra.</p><p>Her laugh, her stubbornness, her kindness (even if she won’t admit it), the feel of her lips on mine, the way our bodies just fit, I sigh, she’s supposed to be here right now but I’ve been scanning the room for the past hour and there isn’t any sign of her or any of the other performers, strange. I get fed up with just standing around waiting so I go to one of the main entrances and find Mermista leaning against the wall;</p><p>“Mermista? I’m so happy to see you, where’s everyone else?”</p><p>She looks at me with a fed-up expression, “Oh this bozo over here,” she says pointing to the bodyguard that I didn’t notice before, “isn’t letting any of the performers in, apparently, the rich snobs aren’t comfortable with us there or whatever, either way, I was told to wait here to tell you that they all went back to their hotel rooms.”</p><p>Hearing her words everything clicks, I’m immensely disappointed but not surprised, the people in that room are awful they would do something like this, “I’m so sorry Mermista I didn’t know maybe we could-”</p><p>“Oh I’m also supposed to tell you that it’s not your fault and that no one blames you, it’s just how society works, so don’t worry about it,” she shrugs.</p><p>“It shouldn’t be though,” I say feeling defeated.</p><p>Her face softens a little, “Yeah, alright good night Adora.”</p><p>“Good night.”</p><p>I go straight to the hotel to see if I can find any of the performers, okay who am I kidding I’m mostly looking for Catra, but unfortunately once I arrive at the lobby I get intercepted by a tall man who seems to have a lot of questions about the circus and I answer most of them even though this is the last place I want to be. But then out of the corner of my eye, I see Catra sprinting towards me still looking absolutely stunning in her trapeze outfit. When she reaches me she grabs my hand and starts pulling me toward the elevator saying a quick ‘excuse me’ to the man.</p><p>“Catra, where are we going?!”</p><p>She doesn’t say anything just keeps pulling me towards the elevator, once we’re in there she finally looks at me,</p><p>“When’s your train leaving?”</p><p>Oh shit, I almost forgot I had to leave tomorrow to go back home, “At noon tomorrow, why?”</p><p>“Good,” she responds still holding my hand rubbing my knuckles with her thumb sending shivers up my spine, I don’t know what’s going through her head but she looks anxious… determined? I can’t tell.</p><p>The second the elevator doors open she starts pulling me towards her room and I could probably stop her but I want to see what this is all about, so I let her pull me all the way to the room and once we get inside, I end up leaning against the door with my arms crossed.</p><p>“So?"</p><p>No response.</p><p>“Catra you’re the one that dragged me in here,” I say hoping she might respond.</p><p>“I know, I know I was going to…,” she trails off, “but now that you’re in front of me I can’t.”</p><p>“Can’t what?” I say suddenly getting worried at the overwhelmed expression on her face.</p><p>Her eyes well up with tears and I don’t think I’ve ever seen her like this before looking utterly dejected with her shoulders slouched as if she was carrying the weight of something on top of her. When I step closer to comfort her she takes a step back.</p><p>“No, you s-shouldn’t,” she says a tear trickling down her face.</p><p>“Catra please,” I say calmly, taking another step toward her. This time she doesn’t move, when I’m close enough I reach out to cup her face and wipe her tears away. I look into her mismatched colored eyes hoping to find what’s bothering her.</p><p>“What’s wrong?”</p><p>She doesn’t respond, instead, she puts her face in my chest and I wrap my arms around her, we stay like this for a while, and when we separate we’re so close I can feel her breath on my face. We both slowly gravitate towards each other until her lips are on mine and it’s like all our worries have disappeared for a second. Her lips fit perfectly with mine like puzzle pieces, and I put my hands on her waist gently and pull her towards me, a small sound escaping her sending shivers through me, leading me to kiss her neck, her hands in my hair. I make my way back to her lips and pick her up so her legs are positioned on each side of me and she lets out a gasp that fills me with electricity as I carry her to the bed and set her down gently positioning myself on top. I kiss across her jawline and go down to kiss her neck but before I make my way any lower she stops me.</p><p>“W-wait,” she says breathlessly.</p><p>I lean back to give her space, “Oh no, I’m sorry did I go too far?”</p><p>“No, no it’s not that, I just have to talk to you first.”</p><p>I nod, maybe this is what she’s been wanting to talk about all along, I sit at the edge of the bed and wait for her to sit next to me. The feeling is confusingly familiar until I remember this is how we sat on the bench a month ago, except everything is different now. She stares straight ahead,</p><p>“Okay, this is really hard, Adora I really care about you but I don’t think that we should keep-”</p><p>Oh, oh no, my mind starts racing for ways to stop her. Do I kiss her? Do I put my hand over her mouth? </p><p>“No.” She turns to look at me.</p><p>“No?”</p><p>Well, I guess that did it, I nod.</p><p>“Adora, you can’t just say no that’s not how anything works.”</p><p>“Well, it is now because I know the rest of your sentence isn’t going to be good for either of us.”</p><p>She sits up straighter, “How would you know you didn’t even let me finish!”</p><p>“Well I could guess it was something about ending <em>this</em>,” I say pointing between us, “Do you not want to be with me?” I ask straightforwardly with sudden confidence.</p><p>“Of course I want to be with you,” she says with a huff looking away.</p><p>“Alright then that’s enough for me, I don’t want to hear whatever it was unless it’s a genuine concern about us or yourself.”</p><p>“Can’t believe that I thought I was the stubborn one, well I’m going to have to find a way to <em> make </em>you listen to me.” She says with her brow furrowed trying to think of a solution, she seems to have thought of one because she suddenly moves so quickly that I barely notice to sit in my lap and put my hands behind my back.</p><p>I can’t help but chuckle, “I might be the stubborn one but you’re the one who’s dramatic.”</p><p>“I wouldn’t have to be dramatic if you weren’t so stubborn!” She says her legs on either side of me, her grip on my hands getting tighter.</p><p>This position is the least convenient way to have a conversation, she’s basically pushed up against me but she’s right I have to listen to her this isn’t just about me.</p><p>“Okay fine I’ll listen, <em> but </em>it has to be with the intention of working it out and not just ending it.” </p><p>“Alright fine but I don’t think any of the things I’m going to mention are within our control.”</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“Well for one, our society isn’t the most accepting,” she says not letting go of my hands.</p><p>“Society can fuck itself.”</p><p>She looks at me taken aback before saying, “Woah that wasn’t the reaction I thought that’d get, honestly kind of a turn-on, umm moving on what about your parents,” she says clearing her throat.</p><p>I pause for a second blushing, she can’t say stuff like that while she’s sitting on me! I’m going to combust, I try to play it off as if I didn’t notice, but I think it’s clear by my red face that, I definitely noticed.</p><p>“What about my parents?”</p><p>“Adora really? They literally sent a letter threatening you and we both know that they have the power and status to mess up everything.”</p><p>I pause, I hate thinking about it but she’s right, I can’t imagine what kind of damage they could do not just to me but to Catra, I don’t want her to be caught in the crossfire, I think she sees my expression change because she lets go of my hands putting hers on my shoulders.</p><p>She sighs, “Okay listen, how about we hit pause on this conversation until after you see what your parents want and then we can try to work it out, also I really can’t focus while I’m practically on top of you.”</p><p>Lifting my hand to brush her hair away from her face I exhale, “Good idea.” With that weight temporarily lifted off both of our shoulders I smirk, “So what do you want to do instead?”</p><p>She smiles rolling her eyes leaning in, “I think you know what I want to do.”</p>
<hr/><p>I wake up the next morning slowly. I lean over to look at a sleeping Catra, her leg on my bare waist and my arms wrapped around her. Last night was a dream, being able to see Catra like <em>that</em> and touch her like <em>that</em>, even with her literally right next to me I don’t think I’ve fully processed it or thought any of this through, but I do know that I want to be able to wake up like this every day. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to enjoy this as much as I want to because I have to catch my train. I look at Catra all huddled up next to me, hair everywhere, <em> beautiful </em>, and decide that I don’t want to wake her but the second I start to move my leg off the bed her eyes flutter open.</p><p>“Hmm? Stay for 5 more minutes,” she says reaching for my hand.</p><p>I push her hair away from her face, “I would, love, but I have to-”</p><p>She puts her finger on my lips, “Shhh,” she yawns and it’s the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen. </p><p>“Adora, you have really soft lips,” she says rubbing her thumb across them lightly, I can’t help but blush at that, and in response, I lean down and kiss her cheek, she lets out a sleepy sigh putting her hands around my neck nuzzling into it and all I want to do is stay in bed with her to cuddle and envelope her with kisses… but I can’t I remind myself. </p><p>“You’re making it <em> really </em>hard for me to leave,” I say as she starts kissing up and down my neck.</p><p>“Sorry princess,” she responds clearly not sorry at all, and plants one last slow kiss on my lips before letting me go.</p><p>I get changed pretty quickly making sure to avoid the stares I know Catra’s giving me because if I even glimpse in her direction it’ll just end up with me back in bed with her. After changing, I pack my clothes, kiss Catra on the forehead as she whispers a “you can do this” in my ear, and head out to go to the train station, one thought on my mind <em> I love her. </em></p>
<hr/><p>I’m a ball of nerves the whole way back home, my leg bouncing up and down, simultaneously worried about what my parents want from me and thinking about how fast I can get back to Catra. In response, I end up not eating anything except an apple. </p><p>When I reach the front door of the place I used to think of as home, I lean back and forth on the heels of my feet trying to build up the confidence to knock. I take a deep breath and knock. Lucy greets me at the door and I immediately hug her, </p><p>“Ms. Adora!” She says taken aback a little before returning the hug. </p><p>I pull back smiling, “Sorry, I just missed you.”</p><p>Her eyes soften and she puts her hand on my arm, “I missed you too.”</p><p>She leads me to the dining room where my parents are already sitting there, waiting, I whisper a quick thank you and sit down in my regular seat preparing for what’s to come. </p><p>“Adora you’re late,” my mother says disgustedly the second I sit down giving my dad a look. <em> Here we go. </em></p><p>Not making eye contact I say, “Yeah, sorry about that the train was a little crowded today.” I grab a napkin and place it in my lap trying to busy my hands.</p><p>“Ah yes, the <em> train </em>, the one you weren’t even supposed to be on,” my father says scoffing. </p><p>I pretend not to hear to avoid a fight when all I want to do is scream and walk out, but no I can’t do that this time I have to approach this like an adult. Thankfully, one of the staff breaks the silence putting the roast turkey in the middle of the table and surrounding it with side dishes. If anything at least the food is good, I think trying to look at the positive. Now that I think about it, it’s been oddly quiet so far, no one has yelled, no one has insulted each other fully, and no one’s walked out, strange.</p><p>“Alright, so Adora we’ve been wanting to talk to you about something,” my father says looking at me for the first time all evening.</p><p>“George, maybe we should wait until after dinner,” my mother responds. </p><p>“Nonsense,” he says brushing her off. “Now Adora, after you’re foolish attempt to disgrace our family name and reputation with-” Ouch, he’s really not going to hold back, I mean he never has, listing my failures seems like his favorite past time.</p><p>“We’ve found you a husband, or a suitor if you will,” he says bringing me back.</p><p>My mouth goes dry and I cough a little, “A what?”</p><p>“Every woman needs a husband, someone to discipline them and you of all people need one the most, not to mention that this man will fix our reputation, that might I remind you, <em> you </em>destroyed.”</p><p>“I’m sorry what?” I say still in shock my knuckles turning white from how tightly I’m holding them in my lap.</p><p>“Adora dear, this is for the best,” my mother says turning to me.</p><p>“No, none of this is for the best, thank you for the offer but I’m fine. I don’t need a husband. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m leaving,” I say standing up, suddenly feeling incredibly exhausted, not wanting to entertain this conversation further.</p><p>“Leaving? That’s very typical of you Adora, always running from your problems like a coward. You haven’t even asked who he is!” My father says voice slowly rising.</p><p>“I don’t care.”</p><p>“This <em> isn’t </em> a suggestion, you <em> will </em>get married and do as we tell you or-”</p><p>Not able to keep it in anymore I do my best to put on an unbothered expression, “Or what?! You’ll try to threaten me?! Try to control me?! Maybe you’ll even use that manipulative guilt-tripping technic you’ve used all my life! Well I’ve found my way around those things before and I’ll do it again until you learn to leave me alone, now I said I was leaving… so have a good evening-” I pause, “On second thought, <em> don’t </em>.” </p><p>Just like that I walk out of the dining room and rush to leave feeling suffocated. When I’m out I’m grateful for the cold air, I breathe it in still feeling overwhelmed replaying what just happened. I’ve always been taught to put other people’s needs over my own, if I’m uncomfortable I just need to get over it, if I have a problem with something I keep my mouth shut, what I just did was the opposite. I realize I’m still at the entrance and decide I can think about what to do about this later, for right now I just need to get out of here. Before I start walking again the door swings open and startles me, its Lucy shaking as if she’s just seen a ghost.</p><p>“Lucy, what’s wrong?”</p><p>“Y-you’re dad he just collapsed.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Catra makes a decision; rewrite the stars.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Okay so before you read this chapter I recommended watching <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yO28Z5_Eyls">this</a> scene to visual everything better. Irrelevant but I think that might be my favorite scene from the whole movie, for many reasons but also just cause... Zendaya (▰˘◡˘▰)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Catra POV</p>
<p>We’ve been back from the tour for a week which means that Adora’s been gone for about two weeks, and the only news I’ve gotten is from a girl named Lucy, who I quickly realized is the same "Lucy" Adora talked about, showing up at our apartment letting us know that Adora is okay but just has a family emergency… that was a week ago. I’ve been worried since the second she left the hotel room and all I want to do is find her and hold her to really make sure she’s alright, but a small part of me wonders if this is for the best. Adora disappearing could just be one of those signs that people always talk about, telling me to let her go. I promised Adora that I would try to work it out with her but what’s the point of trying to fix something that barely existed, to fix something that won’t last, to fix something with someone who isn't good enough for her to begin with, not to mention the million other obstacles.</p>
<p>“Catra?... Catra, you’ve been staring and stirring that cup of tea for ten minutes,” I turn around to find Winston standing there looking worried, his brow furrowed.</p>
<p>“Hmm?”</p>
<p>“Catra your crying,” he says walking closer to wipe the tears I didn’t notice had formed.</p>
<p>“I am?”</p>
<p>“Come here, okay?” He says taking the cup of tea out of my hands and wrapping his arms around me. At the contact, I start slowly crying harder not able to hold it in anymore. Winston starts rubbing my back soothingly like my mom had when we were kids, “It’s alright, let it all out, let it all out…”</p>
<p>I cry for what feels like forever, shoulder shaking sobs that have me gasping for air until it seems like I’ve run out of tears and Winston ends up going to make me a new cup of tea, wrapping me in a blanket just before, and telling me to stay on the couch, I’m too tired to protest so I do what he says. I lean my head back and let my mind overflow with all the memories I’ve shared with Adora and let myself mourn the loss of the new memories that could’ve been made. I know that to a certain extent I’m being dramatic it’s not like Adora’s really gone, but I can’t ignore the twisting feeling in my stomach or how my heart hurts. Before I can spiral into another crying fit Winston comes back into the living room with a steaming cup of tea, just the way I like it, which strangely almost makes me cry for a completely different reason.</p>
<p>“You feeling better?” He asks, giving me the cup of tea and sitting on the couch next to me.</p>
<p>“Yeah, thanks,” I manage to get out, trying to stop my eyes from tearing up again.</p>
<p>“Alright, good… do you want to talk about it? I know this has been weighing on you for a while.”</p>
<p>And it’s true, Winston has asked me this same question multiple times these past two weeks and I’ve never felt ready to put any of my thoughts into words, saying what I’m thinking out loud felt like I was making it all real, and I didn’t want it to be real. I still don’t, but this time after practically crying my eyes out I don’t think I have a choice.</p>
<p>“Y-yeah,” I say taking a deep breath, and Winston scooches closer to me, “I miss her, A-Adora, and not just because she’s gone but because I know that even when she comes back I-”. I cover my face with my hands, “Somewhere along the way with every interaction and every time I saw her... I accidentally fell in love with her and I tried to stop I really did but I couldn’t and now-” I cut off tears streaming down my face again, “Winston, I can’t love her, I’m not supposed to love her!”</p>
<p>“But you do,” he says gently.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” I say leaning back against the couch.</p>
<p>He clears his throat and I raise an eyebrow, “Catra, why is it so bad that you love her?”</p>
<p>“Do I really have to spell it out for you?” I say suddenly annoyed at how he clearly doesn’t understand.</p>
<p>He just stares at me and I take that as a yes, “Okay fine, well we come from two different worlds,” I start counting on my fingers, “society’s a piece of shit, our jobs could be in jeopardy, her parents-”</p>
<p>Winston cuts me off and puts my hand down, “Alright I get it, but what does that all matter if you can figure it out together? Catra don’t you think that you’re hiding behind all these scenarios because she makes you feel vulnerable or attached and you’re scared of getting hurt?”</p>
<p>His words crash into me, how can he think that this is all as simple as just “staying together”?! </p>
<p>“This isn’t about me! And we can’t just “stay together” and hope for the best, there’s real shit that we can lose!”</p>
<p>“But, is it worth staying apart and being miserable?”</p>
<p>“Winston stop asking me dumb questions!” I say getting up quickly.</p>
<p>“Well then stop deflecting and answer them!”</p>
<p>“I’m going for a walk,” I say wiping my eyes, grabbing my coat quickly, and slamming the door on my way out, the last thing I hear him say is “Catra you can’t keep running away from this!” And he’s right, I can’t.</p>
<hr/>
<p>The next morning, I wake up extra early to avoid Winston and go straight to the circus to practice hoping it’ll clear my mind. When I get to the trapeze practicing area, I take off my coat and put it on the bleachers revealing my maroon and beige tanktop with maroon shorts; leaving my hair undone I go to prepare the ropes, but while my back is turned I hear someone coming up behind me;</p>
<p>“C-catra.”</p>
<p>I freeze, it’s the voice I’ve been longing to hear for a while, running every possible interaction over again in my head, but afraid to confront, I don’t say anything.</p>
<p>“I went to your apartment and Winston told me I’d probably find you here… Catra please look at me,” she says slightly out of breath like she ran all the way here.</p>
<p>I turn around not able to meet her eyes and when I glance at them I can see they’re filled with hope and I quickly look away, “Yeah?” I say keeping my head down, not saying what I really want to say. <em> I love you. </em>I shake my head to snap myself out of it.</p>
<p>“<em>Look </em>at me,” she says pleading.</p>
<p>“Adora, I can’t right now…  just-” She reaches for my hands but I pull away, feeling guilty when I glance at her and see the hurt expression on her face. I sigh and move to keep adjusting the ropes, distracting myself seems like the only way we’re going to get through this. </p>
<p>“My dad had a heart attack,” she says to my turned back, “that bastard had a freaking heart attack and I’ve spent two weeks trying to take care of everything… I thought you should know.”</p>
<p>I turn to her slowly finally meeting her eyes, I don’t have any intention of being completely heartless and there’s no reason to hurt her more than I’m going to have to, “I’m sorry,” I say my voice coming out in almost a whisper.  “A-Are you okay?” She smiles wistfully at the question,</p>
<p>“Of course you would ask me if <em> I’m </em>okay, yeah I’m fine and he’s fine too, somehow he managed to stay mad at me, but he’s fine.”</p>
<p>“Umm I’m glad that you’re okay,” I say pausing before adding, “and him too… kind of.” She laughs at that and I had almost forgotten how much I love that sound, especially when I’m the cause of it. Suddenly overwhelmed I turn around and grab the rope taking it with me to the middle of the room, but before I can get in position to practice I feel two warm hands on my upper arms holding me in place, “A-Adora,” I say taking a deep breathe annoyed at myself for being this affected by such a simple touch.</p>
<p>“Listen, I know I should’ve come to see you and I know that sending Lucy probably wasn’t the best idea, but Catra,” she sighs and warmth fills me at the way she says my name, “I didn’t want you to see me like that.”</p>
<p>I turn my head to look at her, her hands still on my upper arms rubbing her thumbs absentmindedly, “Like what?”</p>
<p>She pauses before letting out a word as if it were a whisper, <em> “Broken.” </em></p>
<p>I fully turn around now holding her arms, sliding slowly to her wrists until her hands are in mine, I make sure to really look at her before saying, “No matter what you go through you’re <em> not </em>broken, and you didn’t do anything wrong if anything, everything you’ve done has been admirable.”</p>
<p>She pauses for a heartbeat searching my eyes. “Thank you,” she finally says looking down at me her eyes glistening and my heart stops. My hand instinctively moves to cup her cheek, my thumb rubbing over her lips and my breathe hitches when she leans into the touch. Before either of us can lean in I quickly turn around grabbing the rope again.</p>
<p>“Catra?”</p>
<p>I close my eyes, “I need to practice,” I say before pulling myself up and lift into the air.</p>
<p>“Catra!” Adora calls after me, but I’m too high up for her to reach.</p>
<p>I position myself on the trapeze ring, holding myself in place, and slowly lower myself back to where Adora is standing doing slow turns as I go, and the way she’s looking at me sends shivers through my body. When my feet land on the ground she walks carefully to me, only stopping when she’s almost a breath away, her hands landing on my waist bringing me even closer;</p>
<p>"<em>Talk </em>to me,” she says bringing her forehead to mine, but instead of listening I turn myself, pulling the trapeze ring around both of us before easing myself back onto it allowing her hands to guide me in the spin, before lifting myself back into the air I lean in putting my mouth next to her ear, “I can’t,” and I swear I feel her shiver. But before she can do anything I lift myself into the air and watch as she tries to grab the hoop lifting up a little but falling and yelling to the ceiling, “Why not?! Catra!”</p>
<p>When I get to the top of the ceiling I swing to land on the platform watching as Adora’s eyes search for me, and jump grabbing the rope strategically placed there for other performances swinging until I reach Adora. The second I get remotely close to her she grabs me and a small yelp escapes me, we roll around until I’m positioned on top of her, her back flat against the ground, when I look down at her, I shake my head from the sudden flashback from the hotel, “Adora!” And I can tell she’s thinking the same thing because her hands move from my thighs to my waist but excruciatingly slow, causing me to hold my breath for a second.</p>
<p>“Why?” She asks sternly.</p>
<p>“Why what?”</p>
<p>“Why won’t you talk to me?”</p>
<p>I sigh looking up to the ceiling to calculate my next move, but she reaches up grabbing my chin and gently pushing it down so that I’m looking at her again, “<em> Don’t </em>…  just answer the question.”</p>
<p>Looking into her eyes it’s hard to even think about looking anywhere else, “Because you’ll end up getting hurt, we’ll both end up getting hurt and I’m not ready to do that yet,” I say quickly, touching her cheek and pulling myself back up, leaving her lying on the ground.</p>
<p>“What does that even mean?! Catra, come back!”</p>
<p>And with her plea I find myself wrapping myself in the rope and spinning down (a new trick I learned) into her arms to which she seems surprised but holds me spinning me around until my back is to her front, her breath on my neck.</p>
<p>“C-Catra please,” she says leaning in even closer, arms wrapped around me.</p>
<p>“Practice with me?”</p>
<p>“This conversation isn’t ove-”</p>
<p>“I know,” I know I can’t avoid this conversation forever but I want to give her something more before having to let her go, I want to be happy for a little while longer.</p>
<p>With that, she nods and I turn my body toward her holding onto her waist, guiding her to grab the rope and lift both of us up in the air, when she gasps I smile to myself trying to savor the moment, we do a few spins wrapping our bodies around each other and using our body weight to go even faster. When we land back on the ground, Adora’s face is red and we’re both breathing heavily, smiling like idiots.</p>
<p>“That was-”</p>
<p>“Exhilarating?” I offer.</p>
<p>“Yeah! Can’t believe you get to do that every day!” She says incredibly excited, which I find absolutely adorable.</p>
<p>“Well when you do it, everyday princess,” I say tucking one of her stray hairs behind her ear, “it can get a little boring.”</p>
<p>“Really?”</p>
<p>I chuckle, “No.”</p>
<p>At that, she giggles then stops and smirks.</p>
<p>“What?” I ask in anticipation of whatever she’s going to say.</p>
<p>“You know what else doesn’t get boring?” She asks putting her hands on my waist bringing me closer.</p>
<p>“Hmm?”</p>
<p>“This,” she says leaning in, my brain tells me to walk away or step back but the second her lips meet mine I’m left helpless practically pushing myself against her, feeling the comfort and familiarity that I’ve been craving. I hear myself hum and in response, I can feel Adora smiling against me deepening the kiss, which just makes it harder for me to even think about the consequences. I let myself kiss and be kissed by Adora until her lips are trailing <em>slow </em>hot kisses up and down my neck and the guilt sinks in.</p>
<p>“A-Adora,” I try but then I feel her nibble on my earlobe, and going for the soft spot under my ear and I have to bite my lip to suppress any noises from coming out. <em> Why’s she have to be so good at this?! </em>I take a deep breath, working up the willpower to stop her, “Adora wait,” I say maybe a little too loudly because she pulls back abruptly a worried expression on her face that makes me feel even more guilty. </p>
<p>“You okay? Do you want me to stop?”</p>
<p>I look at her worried eyes and my brain completely malfunctions, “No.” She tilts her head clearly a bit confused but still slowly leans back in waiting for my reaction, “Wait yes, no, yes, no?”</p>
<p>At that, she smiles a little, “Love, I need you to pick one.” </p>
<p><em> Love</em>, I thought she’d called me that in the hotel but I blamed it on how early it was or it just being a fluke, hearing her say it now just makes me sadder, this is going to hurt so much. </p>
<p>“Catra? What’s wrong?”</p>
<p>I sigh, “Yeah, we’re going to have to finish that conversation now.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Catra and Adora have a difficult conversation.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Look I posted early! Well, kinda I don't know if I had a posting schedule to begin with. Anyways according to grammarly this chapter is "worried, sad and anxious" so umm happy reading...<br/>( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)</p>
<p>CONTENT WARNING (just in case): Fire scene (nothing too graphic though)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Adora POV</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I stare ahead looking at Catra’s mismatched eyes trying to figure out what went wrong, what’s bothering her. I replay the events in my head and keep going back to how she wouldn’t meet my eyes, but then there was that </span>
  <em>
    <span>kiss </span>
  </em>
  <span>and-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I thought we could work something out, but then she pulled back with such a pained expression that I don’t know what to think anymore. After saying she wanted to finish the conversation from earlier she dragged me to the bleachers and here we are, I’m waiting for her to say something but then her hand is on my bouncing leg, it’s clear that she only did that on instinct to calm me down because we both stare at where her hand is placed for a while until she pulls away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright,” she says, clearing her throat, not meeting my eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright,” I respond.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We can’t, I can’t keep doing this,” she says seemingly getting straight to the point, breathing in deeply like she didn’t say the worst part yet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Catra,” I say trying to hold her hand but she moves away that pained expression deepening on her face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“J-Just listen, we come from two different worlds whatever we have-,” she clears her throat, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> was always temporary so I think, I think we should end it here before we both get hurt.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aren’t we already getting hurt right now? What are you so afraid of?” I ask hoping for an explanation to stop the room from spinning to stop my heart from beating so fast to stop the tears building up in my eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Adora,” she says like it hurts her to say my name, “you know what I’m afraid of, you know what kind of world we live in, the people-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Stop it, stop giving me the same answer every time, what are </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>afraid of Catra?!” I say suddenly frustrated that she won’t tell me the whole truth, that she feels like she can’t be honest with me.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That </span>
  <em>
    <span>is </span>
  </em>
  <span>what I’m afraid of! And maybe you should be more afraid of it too!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright fine, you know what, I’ll go with it, let’s say that people’s views and opinions and all that other bullshit is really what scares you, why do they matter?! When have people’s opinions ever mattered to you?!” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t I matter to you? </span>
  </em>
  <span>I think, biting my tongue so I don’t say it out loud.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s not the point! Even if they didn’t matter to me, they’d still have an effect on us, on our lives!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I look at her a tear rolling down her cheek, “Catra,” I say slowly, cautiously, “if we stay together their effect won’t be as bad as you think, we can-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Gosh you sound just like Winston,” she says getting up with a huff.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe he’s right if we just talk maybe-,” I say, still sitting on the bleachers.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s not.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She starts to walk away but I call after her, “W-wait,” I say trying to wrack my brain for ways to get her to stay. She turns her head toward me but her body is still facing the exit, having made up her mind. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is this really what you want?” I say my voice barely a whisper, tears streaming down my face, still shocked at how fast this all happened.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She doesn’t answer, just turns back to say, “You can keep staying with me and Winston until you find a place,” and continues walking until there’s no sign left of her ever being there except the tied ropes and that’s when I let myself sob.</span>
</p><hr/>
<p>
  <span>The next few days are a blur of awkward interactions and quiet tears in the middle of the night. At work, I force myself to act professional, and we barely talk, for lunch, I sit with Bow and Glimmer who are incredibly sweet and Catra seems to have hit it off with Scorpia, but even with the new friendships the whole thing makes my heartache. But this is what Catra decided and I have to respect that, no matter how much I hate it. I end up finding an apartment near the circus and now looking back I probably could’ve found one sooner, but it was all so nice and homey with Winston and Catra before the whole thing came crashing down.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Today’s supposed to be the day where I watch Catra and Winston perform to get an assessment of their act like I’ve done for the others but I can’t get myself to go to the trapeze area. I don’t think I’d survive watching Catra swing through the air elegantly and not be able to </span>
  <em>
    <span>talk </span>
  </em>
  <span>to her or </span>
  <em>
    <span>hold </span>
  </em>
  <span>her or </span>
  <em>
    <span>kiss </span>
  </em>
  <span>her or-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I procrastinate some more stacking and restacking the papers I’m supposed to take with me until I realize there’s no point and start heading to the trapeze area. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I hear the screams first, the shrieking in horror before I see anything, the second I smell the smoke I know. I grab the people nearest to me and break out into a sprint leading us out the exit as fast as possible, helping anyone in our path and releasing the animals hoping they make it. When I get outside it's absolute chaos of firefighters and people both from the circus or just witnesses to the tragedy. I turn around to see the orange flames covering the majority of the building, what once was a beautiful circus is now turning into ash and construction damage. I feel a tap on my shoulder and turn around to find Winston, a fearful expression on his face. I hug him quickly, relieved he’s alright and my eyes move around him to find Catra but she’s not there. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Where’s Catra?” He asks seemingly having no clue. I scan the crowd, panic overcoming me, looking for any sign of her but when she’s not there, I look back fearfully to the building caught up in flames. </span>
  <em>
    <span>No</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I run, I run so fast I’m out of breath and when I reach the building everything is covered in smoke. I turn in every direction looking for Catra, hoping, wishing for her to somehow appear. I scream out of frustration and move toward the ground to avoid the smoke and then I see her, her mismatched eyes shining through the smoke, “Adora!” I’m filled with relief the second I hear her scream my name and realize that a wood plank is keeping her from moving, she has a scarf around her face so hopefully she hasn’t inhaled too much smoke. I move the plank as fast as possible, adrenaline making me stronger, and pick up Catra, running straight to the exit. The cool air hurts my lungs at first but slowly with every gulp the burning eases, everyone is thoroughly covered in soot, but we’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>alive.</span>
  </em>
  <span> I put Catra down slowly making sure she’s okay then go to check on all the performers but before I can ask Glimmer what happened my vision becomes very blurry and my breathing shallow. I collapse to the ground and the last thing I hear is Catra calling my name before everything goes dark.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Also to anyone who's ever commented, bookmarked or given kudos... ya'll make my day ily (i just suck at replying) &lt;3</p>
<p>Sidenote: Don't take fire safety tips from fan fics :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Catra stays with Adora; Catra thinks.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry it took forever to post this chapter, but umm life you know... anyways it's the second to last chapter!! ｡◕‿◕｡</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Catra POV</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span> Please wake up, please wake up, please-</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ms. Wheeler?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Y-yeah.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ms. Carlyle is stable, so it’s alright for you to go home and come back tomorrow,” the nurse says staring at me with pitiful eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Adora.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“S-She prefers to be called Adora, she’d want me to tell you that,” I say the tears still sliding down my face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll keep that in mind, but you really can go home, Adora will be just fine here,” </span>
  <em>
    <span>without you </span>
  </em>
  <span>I finish the sentence in my head, staring back down at my hand in Adora’s pale one. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I rather stay,” I decide.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Whatever you want,” she says before walking away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I turn back to look at Adora lying on the hospital bed, her rising and falling chest the only sign that she’s alive. I let out a shaky breath, it’s my fault she’s here, I did this, she jumped in that fire to save </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>, even after I hurt her. </span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>“Winston, I’m not leaving her!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ve been here for 3 days, have you even eaten, taken a shower, slept, done anything?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I glance back at Adora, Winston’s furrowed brow goes deeper, he never was good at hiding his emotions, something he and Adora share,  “I know you love her, but you can’t do this to yourself.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I glance away at his words, “The nurses have been giving me food,” I mumble.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He sighs, “Catra.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I agree to go home but only if I can go back right after, I’m not leaving Adora again. When I get home I take a much-needed shower and Winston makes pasta. Winston somehow convinces me to stay the night but when it hits 3 AM and I still can’t sleep I write Winston a quick note, grab my coat, and head to the hospital. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Home hasn’t been the same without Ador. Ever since that first night when she packed up and moved out, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her, how I hurt her, the tears in her eyes. It didn’t hit me how much I’d messed up until I watched her run into a fucking burning building to save me, then… I watched her collapse because of it. I took a lot from her. Nothing was worth giving up Adora. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When I get to the hospital I nod at the nurse before she lets me pass through, the staff have mostly gotten used to me being here all the time, more than anyone else at least. So far, most of the performers have come to see Adora, they miss her, I can see it in the way they look at her still body or the way they glance at me ever so often to tell me something special that they used to do with her. Glimmer and Bow, especially, clearly care about her, coming here as often as they can, they also seem to think that because they love Adora the way they do in extension they should care about me, but I don’t deserve their kindness, I hurt Adora, I got her here. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I walk to Adora’s bed where she lies as if she’s asleep, there but not, her blonde hair sprawled on the pillow, I miss her energy and I miss seeing every emotion reflected in her blue eyes. I sigh, “Hey Adora,” I sit at the edge of the hospital bed and put my hand over hers staring at the ceiling rubbing her knuckles gently with my thumb.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know you can’t hear me right now, but I’m just going to talk anyway… I messed up, a lot and I really really need you to wake up so that I can tell you how much, so umm wake up so you can rub it in my face, I know you’d like that, ” I let out a small chuckle, “you can even hold it over my head for years, so just p-please wake up,” I say choking back a sob towards the end. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She doesn’t move. I wipe my tears and curl up next to her like I’ve done the past few days, hoping that when I wake up, she’ll wake up too.</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>I wake up the next morning abruptly, breathing heavily the night of the fire replaying in my mind and when I turn to check on Adora I relive what happened all over again. I hold on to the edge of the bed to steady myself and get up slowly, taking deep breaths to calm my heart. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I pace the room to calm my nerves- a habit I’ve picked up since Adora fell unconscious- until I hear voices in the hallway and stop waiting to see who it is. Scorpia pokes her head through the door, and I sigh, relaxing a bit. After we officially met on the train I’ve taken a liking to Scorpia, she’s incredibly friendly and although she can push my buttons at times, for the most part, I can relax when I’m around her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wild cat!” She says screaming one of the </span>
  <em>
    <span>many </span>
  </em>
  <span>cat-based nicknames she has for me, coming towards me with open arms, and unlike usual I let her hug me.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hi Scorpia,” I say as enveloped in one of her bear hugs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She pulls back to look me in the eyes, “Is she still-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I cut her off, “Umm yeah she is,” I say glancing subconsciously at Adora, even though there’s a hospital curtain blocking my view.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry, I miss her too…  here let me take you out for breakfast, Entrapta found this great new place and-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Scorpia,” I say stopping her before she gets her hopes up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No I know you don’t want to leave, but hear me out, we go and come back, we won’t be gone long and you have to eat anyway.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Scorpia.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fine, fine I won’t push,” she says putting her hands up innocently, and walking out of the room, leaving me confused.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>An hour later Scorpia shows back up with breakfast and a lot of it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, I didn’t know what you would want so I got you everything.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Scorpia, we can’t eat all of this,” I say smiling for the first time in a while.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She chuckles, “Umm, we can give it to the nurses and staff?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good idea,” I say, still smiling and reaching to open the numerous boxes laid out on the small hospital table.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After opening all the boxes I stare at them kind of in shock at all the options there are eggs, french toast, pancakes, waffles, fruits (shaped like animals), finger sandwiches, and lots of syrups.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I look at Scorpia with my mouth open, “Okay I realize I </span>
  <em>
    <span>may </span>
  </em>
  <span>have gone a little overboard.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A little?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A lot… okay let’s eat.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>We eat, keeping up small talk for a while and offering all the nurses and staff who come in food, eventually clearing everything out except a pancake. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You eat it,” I say to Scorpia. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nope, you eat it,” she says back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You bought it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“For </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fine, we’ll just split it,” I say, taking the pancake and cutting it down the middle.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh look! And we can put syrup in the middle and fold it so it makes mini-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Pancake sandwiches,” I say suddenly feeling dejected, the memory of Adora and Winston smiling like idiots and laughing making it seem like just yesterday.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Catra?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You alright?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m fine, just thinking,” I say staring up at the ceiling and steadying my breathing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Scorpia seems to understand my train of thought because she puts her hand on my arm, “Hey, she’s gonna wake up, she’s Adora…  she’s a fighter.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I let out a soft, sad chuckle, “I know she is, and I really hope so.”</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>The next day, I learn from Glimmer and Bow that the fire was started by the people who led the hateful protest against the circus, I was mostly expecting this but a part of me is still afraid at the lengths they were willing to go… at the number of people they were willing to hurt just to prove a point.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I sigh, and glance at the clock on the wall; it's Friday evening which means that Winston just got off from his new job as a waiter and I’m assuming will show up any minute to lecture me about going home. I reach over to grab the generic magazines on the counter to waste some time until he gets here. I sit for about 30 min staring at the colors, turning the pages mindlessly until Winston pops his head through the door,</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I brought dinner,” he says holding two bags.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>We eat in silence for a while, enjoying each other’s company until Winston looks over to Adora, his expression going sad.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I reach out and put my hand over his, “I know you miss her too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He nods and we continue eating. When we’re done Winston gets up cleaning everything quickly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright, I’m going to head home, when you’re ready to come I’ll be there,” he says surprising me then walks over giving me a long hug, then kisses Adora on the forehead before leaving."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I’m left to my own thoughts and when I realize that those can take a dark turn, I get up to get more blankets for Adora. The nurse is very nice as usual handing me a few blankets and as I walk back to Adora’s room I notice a lot of doctors and staff heading in that area, I ask one of them what the hell is going on and they practically yell, “Patient 111’s awake!”, before rushing off. It takes me about 5 seconds before I drop the blankets on the floor and sprint to the room, my heartbeat racing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When I get to the door, I’m blocked by a lot of doctors but I push my way through managing to make my way in. Before I can say anything a pair of blue eyes land on mine and everything stops.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“C-Catra?”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>
  <a href="https://thumbs.gfycat.com/AstonishingImmaculateCony-size_restricted.gif">insert gif here</a>
</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Adora's awake; everything falls into place.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>That's a wrap folks!! Can't believe that the story is finally done... I don't really know how to feel right now but this was great and I'm really grateful to everyone who's read, commented, gave kudos, bookmarked or just interacted with this fic ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Adora POV</p><p>“So you're sure you checked everything?”</p><p>“Yes, Ms. Wheeler, like I said the last three times you asked, we checked all her vitals she is fine, but we’ll keep her here for a few more days.”</p><p>“Okay, thank you, but she just woke up so did you-”</p><p>“I assure you, she’s in good hands.”</p><p>“Alright.”</p><p>I turn to look at Catra after she’s done interrogating the doctor, her expression still worried, she opens her mouth to say something but closes it again. Since I’ve woken up she’s only talked to me to make sure I was alright, and ironically it’s making me worried about her. The last time I talked to her well <em> really </em> talked to her it didn’t end well, but she’s <em> here </em>and that has to mean something.</p><p>“So?” I say trying to gauge her reaction.</p><p>She gives a small smile at that and I take that as an opportunity, “Okay come here,” I say patting the space on the bed right next to me. She cautiously makes her way over to me before sitting at the edge of the bed. </p><p>“You okay?” she asks, a mix of worry and uncertainty in her voice.</p><p>“I’m fine now, I promise,” and as the words leave my mouth I can see her visibly relax.</p><p>“Good.”</p><p>After that, we stare at each other for a while at a loss for words, so I hold out my hand, and thankfully Catra takes it and with that, I pull her down next to me until we’re both lying down on our right side, my arm around her. It’s very peaceful, and it warms my heart to be able to hold her like this again. </p><p>“Adora?”</p><p>“Hmm?”</p><p>“I’m sorry.”</p><p>I can tell that she’s been meaning to get that off her chest for a while, but all I want to do right now is be with her, so I gently kiss her temple to let her know that I’m not mad and already drifting off to sleep I say,</p><p>“Can we talk about that tomorrow?”</p><p>She squeezes the hand I have around her waist and replies with a simple nod.</p><hr/><p>“Adora? Adora? <em> Adora? </em>” </p><p>I wake up to the sound of Catra’s voice and a warm hand on my cheek, with my eyes still closed I put my hand over hers and give a small hum to indicate I’m awake.</p><p>She lets out a playful huff before saying, “I would let you sleep more but like two doctors came by to check on you and I’m running out of excuses.”</p><p>“Awe you distracted medical professionals for me,” I say teasingly.</p><p>“Anything for you,” and the sincerity in her voice makes me open my eyes. I hold her gaze for a few seconds before being interrupted by a flustered doctor and I realize that I’m still holding her hand on my face. We readjust our position and turn to the doctor.</p><p>“Sorry for interrupting but we really have to run the tests for the day.”</p><p>I glance at Catra one last time who gives me a reassuring smile, “Okay yeah go ahead.”</p><p>After taking a bunch of tests the doctors conclude that I’m fine, which I could’ve said myself, but whatever. They did also say that because of how good the results were I could go home early, but at this point, I don’t know where home is anymore. I refuse to impose myself on Catra but being alone right now is the last thing I want to do, I consider calling Bow and Glimmer, (who I realize I need to call anyway) as I pack my things but then Catra clears her throat.</p><p>“So, I thought that since you're still umm you know… that you could stay with me and Winston again.”</p><p>“Catra, I don’t want to impose-” I start to say but she interrupts me.</p><p>“You’re not,” she says quickly.</p><p>I let out a relieved sigh, “Alright, thank you.”</p><hr/><p>“We ran straight here, where is she?!” I hear Glimmer scream from the doorway of Winston and Catra’s apartment.</p><p>“Couch, and don’t tackle her,” I hear Catra respond.</p><p>“We won’t!” Bow replies quickly before they both practically run towards the couch, hugging me on either side.</p><p>“I missed you guys too,” I say chuckling at how open (even more than normal) they’re being, I feel like I should’ve expected this though because Winston had the same reaction of almost tackling me to the ground with his eyes watery, promising that when he gets back from work he’ll make whatever meal I want. According to Catra I was unconscious for about five days and everyone was starting to worry whether I’d wake up or not, which both hurts my heart because I never want them to have to worry, especially Catra, but it’s nice to know that I’ve found my people.</p><p>“How are you feeling?” Glimmer asks a concerned expression clouding her face.</p><p>“Better… a little tired but I’m fine, Winston and Catra won’t let me off the couch,” I respond smiling.</p><p>“The doctor said you need to rest which requires actual <em> resting </em>,” Catra responds then turns to Bow and Glimmer, “she’s been here less than a day and I’ve already caught her trying to work. Twice!”</p><p>“I want to help! And the only way to do that is if I can find those newspaper articles you’ve hidden from me and calculate-” I start to say but Catra interrupts me.</p><p>“Resting does not equal calculating, Adora you need to <em> relax </em>,” she says slowly without a hint of mock in her tone just concern. I turn to look at Bow and Glimmer and they’re holding similar expressions. </p><p>I slump back into the couch, “Fine.”</p><p>“Good,” they somehow all manage to say in unison and we burst into laughter.</p><p>Glimmer and Bow stay for the remainder of the day and eat dinner with us when Winston comes back from work, making his famous pasta, and making sure to ask if I like it every 5 minutes. After dinner Bow and Glimmer leave with the assurance that I’m alright and tell me to call them if I need anything. I end up on the couch with Catra and Winston where we talk for a few hours until Winston gives each of us a good night hug and goes off to sleep, leaving me and Catra alone on the couch in an oddly familiar position. We both seem to think the same thing because we turn to look at each other chuckling at the memory.</p><p>“Hey Adora?”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>She hesitates for a split second before her eyes soften and she says, “I’m really glad you’re okay.”</p><p>I reach over to put my hands over hers, “Me too.”</p><p>We both stare down at our interlocked hands until Catra says that it’s probably best if we get some sleep, then ushers me into her room.</p><p>“Catra, what are you-” I ask confused as she pushes me toward her bed.</p><p>“I’m tucking you in,” she responds without a shred of doubt in her voice.</p><p>“You’re what? I think I can-”</p><p>“Adora, just let me take care of you!” she lets out sounding a bit frustrated, but not fully upset.</p><p>“Nevermind got it, you’re tucking me in,” I say trying to hold back a giggle at the ridiculousness of the situation but also at the warmth that fills me at her admission. I get into the bed and lie down on my back so Catra can cover me with the blankets and before she leaves I ask, “Aren’t you going to kiss my forehead?”</p><p>She smiles at me a little amused, raising an eyebrow, “Do you <em> want </em>me to kiss your forehead?”</p><p>I shrug, “I mean it’s a staple part of the tucking in process, so if you want to do it right I think it’s necessary.”</p><p>“Okay princess I’ll kiss your forehead,” she says with a playful eye roll.</p><p>She leans over promptly bringing her lips to my forehead and lingers above me for a while so I round up my courage and ask if she wants to stay for a bit. She nods and I scoot over giving her enough space to lie down so our shoulders are touching and we’re staring up at the ceiling. </p><p>“Adora?”</p><p>“Hmm?”</p><p>“Can we talk?” she asks a bit hesitantly.</p><p>“Yeah,” I respond reaching for her hand to let her know I’m not going anywhere.</p><p>She inhales deeply, “I’m sorry that I hurt you… I pushed you away out of the selfish need to protect myself and I convinced myself that I knew what was best for both of us, I should’ve been more patient and listened to you. I can’t be making decisions on my own and it just wasn’t fair to you-”</p><p>“Catra,” I say slowly but she stops me. </p><p>“Please don’t say that it’s okay, because I know that it’s not, I <em> hurt </em>you, and nothing is worth losing you,” at this point, Catra starts tearing up and I bring her against me so that she can cry into the crook of my neck while I rub her back and stroke her hair.</p><p>“Love, you were just scared, the world we live in right now doesn’t make this easy and you did what you thought you had to do at the time, and I’m sorry too.” Catra then turns to look at me confused and I sigh bringing my hand to her cheek to wipe her tears, “I should’ve fought harder for us, I let you go too easy, I should’ve <em> listened </em>,” she tries to interrupt but I don’t let her, “we’ve both done some things we regret, okay?” I say as softly as I can, she pauses for a moment searching my eyes but then nods and I bring my forehead to hers. </p><p>“Adora,” she says in almost a whisper.</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>She takes in a shaky breath, “I love you,” I pause for a second trying to see if I heard her right, “You love me?” I say tears forming in my eyes and she nods shyly. I take her face in my hands, “I love you too.”</p><p>Then I kiss her with so much passion, familiarity, and comfort that I feel as if I’ve been teleported to another galaxy.</p><hr/><p>The next day I wake up in Catra’s embrace and find myself overwhelmingly happy being able to lean over and just kiss her, so I do, I kiss her forehead then her cheeks then her jaw all while she hums contentedly wrapping her arms around my neck. </p><p>“Well good morning to you too princess,” she says with a raspy chuckle. </p><p>“I love you,” I say, not able to contain myself.</p><p>“I love you too,” she responds blushing, apparently the words have some sort of effect on her.</p><p>“Hmm today’s going to be a good day,” I say leaning forward to kiss her and she responds by bringing our lips together.  </p><p>A second later Winston walks in squealing, “I knew it! You guys are so cute together!”</p><p>“Winston!” Catra screams.</p><p>“Don’t worry, don’t worry I’ll give you privacy,” he says closing the door with a wink.</p><p>I burst out laughing the second he leaves and Catra groans, “We’re not going to get any privacy huh?”</p><p>“Nope,” she replies putting her hands over her face, and I take them to kiss her knuckles.</p><p>“That’s alright, I should probably get ready anyway,” I say, getting up and sitting on the edge of the bed where she follows me to wrap her arms around my waist putting her chin on my shoulder.</p><p>“Get ready?”</p><p>“Okay so don’t be mad…” </p><p>“Oh I could never be mad,” she says jokingly, kissing my neck and I lean into the touch.</p><p>“I might’ve gotten Bow and Glimmer to schedule me a meeting with Mr. Barnum.”</p><p>“Adora!”</p><p>I turn so that I can take her hands and look at her directly in the eye, “Okay I know, I know, but I genuinely think I can save the circus.”</p><p>“How would you-”</p><p>“Can I tell you when I get back?”</p><p>“Fine but don’t tire yourself out, okay?”</p><p>“Okay,” I say kissing her cheek.</p><p>“Promise?”</p><p>“I promise.”</p><hr/><p>I was expecting my meeting with Mr. Barnum to be a complete shot in the dark but after two hours of planning, I think that the idea of buying land, holding the circus in a tent, and investing the money left into security might work. I offered to be Mr. Barnum’s partner since he lost a lot of money to the bank when the building burned down and since I’ve been keeping a secret account open as “insurance”. All it’ll take to be official is some careful planning which I can take care of and determination which the performers at the circus definitely have, and this time I’ll be able to be <em> with </em>Catra. I sigh as I open the door to the apartment and find Catra waiting in the doorway with her arms crossed,</p><p>“So?” she says with her eyebrows raised expectantly.</p><p>“Were you just standing here the whole time?” I ask a little amused.</p><p>“No, now tell me what happened,” she says quickly, a bit too quickly. So I go to hold her, putting my hands on her arms, “Catra,” I say slowly trying to hold her gaze. “I worry about you okay and I didn’t stand here the <em> whole </em> time, now <em> come on </em>, what happened?” she finally responds, making eye contact. “Okay fine,” I start to say but I can’t hold back a smile at the thought of the future and Catra apparently reading my face says, “Oh my god you did it! I knew you’d do it!” She then grabs my face kissing me with so much joy that I can’t help smiling through it and I know that I’ll be able to experience this type of joy for the rest of our lives. </p><p>“Hey Adora?” she says her head leaning against my forehead.</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>She glances away for a second before saying, “I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I want to experience everything with you.”</p><p>“Me too,” I manage to respond, eyes starting to tear up at her sudden vulnerability. “You know what we should do though?” I ask.</p><p>“Teach Winston how to make something other than pasta?” she responds, to which I let out a loud chuckle.</p><p>“Probably, but we should go on a date,” I say smiling.</p><p>She smiles back, putting her hand on my shoulder, “A date?”</p><p>“Yeah like a date date, where we go out to dinner, dance all night, and then we come home and…” I trail off. </p><p>Catra smirks up at me, “<em> You know </em> ,” she says trailing a finger over my collar bone making me shiver, “we can do the <em> and </em>right now.”</p><p>I put my hand on her cheek, bringing our lips together but after a few seconds she pulls back chuckling, “Adora stop smiling so big, I can’t kiss you right.” </p><p>“I can’t <em>not</em> smile when I'm with you… you make me happy.” And with those words I can see a blush form on her face, “Damn it, I love you so much,” she says taking my hands.</p><p>“I love you too, so so much,” I respond, looking into her gleaming eyes and envisioning all the moments we’ll share… <em> our future. </em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>If you've read this far... I love you... <a href="https://i.pinimg.com/originals/b1/32/5f/b1325f3584fc7b4443526798cee3015d.gif">insert gif here</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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